Me In Simple Complexity

Flickr

2009-03-31T14:57:00.001+02:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Look into your heart and you'll find love

2009-03-31T14:46:00.001+02:00

Look into your heart and you'll find love
Originally uploaded by Crazy Princess

Vi è mai sembrato di vivere dentro ad un episodio di qualche vostro telefilm preferito? A me si!
Giuro che se non fosse che ve lo sto raccontando io, potreste benssimo convincervi di trovarvi sottomano il riassunto di una delle tanto amate puntate di Sex & the City!
Beh, cosa vi aspettavate? Di tanti sterotipi, almeno questo lasciatemelo vivere in santa pace ed a pieno, no?
Vedete.. faccio una piccola confessione.: ognuna di noi almeno una volta nella vita si è rispecchiata un pochettino in uno di quei 4 personaggi magnifici, frutto dell'immaginazione e della penna di Candace Bushnell.
Io ho sempre trovato più sintonia con Carrie, non certo per il suo senso di stile o per il suo figurino delizioso, ma forse più per il suo spirito intraprendente e romantico, per la sua originalità e per la sua creatività.

Questo week end ho rivisto una persona che mi ha fatto ricordare dei bei momenti divertenti condivisi assieme due anni fa, ormai...
Me lo ricordo ancora... era l'estate del 2007. Ero stata fuori con degli amici e la serata era stata divertente, ma c'era qualcosa di diverso... IO mi sentivo diversa... ero viva, entusiasta. Accesa! (O forse come avrebbe detto la mia amichetta Sammy, liberata).

Dopo la seratina piacevole trascorsa in compagnia di questi 3 amici, mi ritirai in dolce compagnia. E' bello quando basta un sorriso o uno sguardo per comunicare 100 parole.
Ed è qui che la splendida, sensuale e provocante Samantha Jones entra a far parte del mio mondo, o forse ero io ad entrare a far parte del suo...

Non so se vi ricordate le scene, spesso comiche, delle sue avventure scalmanate.
Mi ha sempre divertito vedere come riusciva a ribaltare una qualsiasi situazione imbarazzante o negativa e farla diventare una cosa sulla quale ridere; restavo a guardare, quasi amaliata, come il suo dialogio schietto e diretto diventasse sempre protagonista dell'episodio.

Beh, diciamo che in questa occasione di questa particolare sera, forse solo per un attimo, in lei mi sono rispecchiata!
Che dire quando il tuo piercing s'impiglia nella cinta di un'altra persona? Che fare quando ti squillo il telefono in un momento poco... opportuno? Niente, niente... la butti in caciara e via...
Tanto a fine serata contano solo le risate condivise e la complicità malandrina. Situazioni uniche, irripetibile certamente... e che forse faranno ridere solo te e la persona con la quale hai condiviso l'accaduto, ma che sicurmente entreranno a far parte della tua storia personale, catalogato sotto la voce "Come Samantha Jones".

Mi auguro che ognuna di voi posso ritrovare un po' di Samantha in voi stesse ogni tanto, che non fa mai male.... soprattutto quando il giorno dopo, al lavoro, le colleghe ti dicono che dovresti ritrovare la tua Samantha più spesso!

Relationships

2008-03-05T01:12:00.004+01:00

In her blog, Heather asked about relationships.....why some of them work, and others crash and burn. What makes or breaks a union?

I could probably spend hours debating and pondering this one...

I think the secret to a good relationship lies in the beginning...
Basically... it's the couple itself that make or break the deal... no shit, right? See, I think too often people fall in love and are with a person who in reality isn't right for them or who, ultimately, they won't get along with, be if for different beliefs, different views on things, different habits, political views etc...

Sometimes loves just isn't enough... I've lived this twice "on my back" as we say in Italian. experienced it myself... and I now know that love is not the answer!
It's how well you get along with someone, how much you have to give in in order to keep the peace and how far they're willing to go for you.
A relationship is a balance of give and take. It takes a lot of respect, and yes love of course too... but mostly respect I think.

Loves comes and goes, love changes over time. The initial passion and lust fades over the years and sometimes all you're left with is this person who you co-habit with, who you live and breathe next to without really sharing your lives.
Sure you may share time, but are you really sharing your LIFE? You dreams, your goals, your dreams, your fears?

I've come to the point of stating that I'd probably agree more of marrying a true friend, whom I admire, respect and look up to than someone who I love yet can't seem to share views with.
Those of you who know me and my pat relationships know what I'm talking about...

All I know is, it takes a LOT of luck to find the right person to walk aside of for the rest of your life... that special someone that won't change over the years, that will still love you unconditionally, and care for you, and be happy to see you when you walk in the door.

Max's dinner Party

2007-12-22T23:45:00.000+01:00

I barely got a chance to sleep in today... I had a few errands to run, tidy up my room and sort a few things.
I also had to cook as I was invited to dinner over at Max's tonight, and we'd all been asked to brind a dish.

In the afternoon hotel boy called and asked me if I wanted to go shopping dowtown with him, as he wanted to pick up a few things. So I get there to the hotel to meet up with him, as the subway is close to his place, and he asks me to sit in the car with him a second.

He then hands me a little package... my Christmas gift!
He told me that he wasn't going to get me anything because I don't celebrate Christmas and he felt stupid getting me something.. but then he surprised me!
I told him that it was ok and that I'd always gotten gifts from my close friends so he should just do what he feels, regardless. The fact that I was going to get him something shouldn't have to influence him.
Anyways... he got me a really cool belt by Jean-Paul Gaultier... Madonna's favourite designer LOL

After thanking him we hopped on the train and went downtown. We jumped from one store to the next... shopping with hotel boy is crazy! Hahaha he was in such a rush! My feet were sore!
I did however manage to stop long enough to take a picture of the Fendi building, all decorated and lit up especially for the Christmas.

Afterwards I had to rush home to go and cook for tonight's dinner, but unfortunately, the road was completely blocked due to yet another accident! ARGH!!

My mom called me as she saw that it was getting late and I wasn't home yet. She knew I had to cook and so was wondering where i was. When I finally got home, I'd found she'd cooked for me!! Awww I love her! She saved my life! Hahaha

Anyways dinner was a blast! We had fun just eating great food, dancing and generally being silly!

Oh so close!

2007-12-21T21:12:00.000+01:00

It's been really hectic at work lately. I guess everyone's just trying to tie up all the loose ends before the holidays.
This past week has been pretty busy!

Tonight we went to a party in a Villa some guy rented out for his birthday.. (a friend of a friend, you know how these thigns work...).

We had a good time, but it was a pretty interesting ride all the way there!
First off, I get my head bitten off because we have to wait for Hotel boy to come down, as he fell asleep!
So we get to the hotel t pick him up and he's not answering his phone! So I decide to go up to his room and get him, but he finally answers so then we wait for him in the car. In the meatime Flavio is getting impatient and decides to take it out on me.

Then, we fianlly are ready to leave as am I'm pulling out of the Hotel drive way some crazy lunatic almost hits me! Basically... this guy was driving at about 130 kms an hour!
I'm at the interection, I look behind me to make sure no one is coming and sure enough the road is clear. So I'm pulling out and already in the lane and all of a sudden I hear this screeching, braking noise! I look to my left and there's this car right up next to me... I swerve to the right and avoid the collision! We barely just tap each other's side mirrors and then both stop.

So I'm in the car, on the right side of the road, while this guy has stopped further ahead on the left.
He jumps out of his Mercedes and comes at me with a violence and anger I'v never seen before in my life!

Luckily i'm not alone as I have hotel boy next to me and Flavio in the car behind me.
We immediately lock our doors and just sit there calmly, waitign to see what's going to happen next. So the thug comes at me shouting all kinds of swear words (very educational, I must admit...) and starts pounding his fists on my window. I'm afriand he's going to shatter the glass, but fortunately he doesn't.
He then storms back to his car... checks his side and then gets back in and drives off.

As you cna imagine I am compeltely speachless, yet calm. Hotel boy makes sure I'm ok and then we drive off again.
I will admit... my legs were jelly at this point, but I managed to stay clear and focused. I can't believe what has just happened and that I was so able to avid the hit, but staying it the car and not doing anythind was the best thing that could have happened!

So, after taking a depe breath, we're back on the road again.
We're driving and then we get lost... all the while with Flavio getting impatient and Alex's patience being put to the test!

WE FINALLY get to the party. After a few drinks and some good music, Alex finds her smile again!

It was a pretty eventful night but I manage to have a good time anyways.
On ou way home, we stop off for a late night snack... McDonald's... LOL
Hotel boy and I stop and talk and before you know it, it's 5 am!

I really enjoy the wind down part of the night... sitting and talking in the car, like there's no care in the world always make me smile.

We're just friends hotel boy and I.... yet I feel like there's more.
I won't ponder it further, there's no point... but still... talking 'till 5 am feels like heaven!

Closure

2007-11-27T03:40:00.000+01:00

When I mentioned that this week had been an interesting one, I meant it, and not because of social events... it's not all partying in my life..

I've recently booked a flight to the US for the next year. I'll be visiting some friends in feb for 10 days. I will also be stopping off in Indy, mainly to see friends, but also to try and get a hold of the things I left behind back in 2006.

For those of you who have follwed my diry from the beginning, will know i'm referring to thigns I left at my ex's. Zeeing as I was supposed to be moving and marrying him, I brought out my entire summer wardrobe, to sort of try and get a head start of packing and stuff, seing as it was winter and I was hoping to be married by the following summer... we all know how that nded up.

So anyways, seeing as I am someone who thinks about others' feeligns and the consequences my actions may have on them, I decided to write to Michael to let him know I was coming.
Just to fill you in, in these six months since we've broken up, I have not once heard from him. Or rather I have, but never was it him who came looking for me.

After I finally decided to put it behind me, I have how ever contacted him twice to try and at least stay friends... (Yeah, I know what you all think, something impossible.. so I've been told...).
I always got brief, rather cold responses back from him which always ledf me to think he was just being polite and not really wanted any kind of relationship with me.

Well this past weekend I got wind of him apparently being rather happy I was comin to visit. pparently he wants to sit down and have a talk with me. He supposedly has a lot he wants to talk to me about and misses me a lot.

I can't describe how this makes me feel... I have mixed emotions about this. On one hand, I prayed for this for sl long, and not because I was hoping to get back with him, but simply because, as selfish and mean as it soudns, I wanted him to regret his decision and live with the fact that he'd fucked up the best thing in his life and not be able to do anything about it.
On the other, I am glad to see him and to be able to sit down and talk. I think after all this, I need closure.
I'm not sure what he wants to say to me exactly, but I hoe to be hearing some apologies. I will tell him how I feel and wont' spare him the fact that he really hurt me. I know it'll hurt for both of us, it won't be easy but I think we'll be better off for it.
This should have taken place six months ago...

And so tonight, I post a picture of a photo album that contains pictures of the summer we got engaged. It contains some wonderful, yet painful memories.
I hope after my trip to be finally able to put this book and this relatiobship finally to rest.

Autumn Days

2007-11-07T18:57:00.000+01:00

What a wonderful day we had on Saturday!!!
We were blessed with a gorgeous fine November sunny day. The crisp fine air was nicely warmed up by a wonderful bight sun!

We went on a mini road trip to Ariccia, in the area that is better known as the Castelli Romani ˜ aka Roman Castles.
The area is beautiful... the Pope has his summer residence nearby, at Castel Gandolfo. Lucky bugger! lol

People come from neighbouring towns and from Rome to eat in the typical fraschetterie, sort of homely, rustic type places, run by family. The service is very plain and simple. The food is great and the prices are dirt cheap!
The typical local dish is porchetta, but seeing as it's pork, I've never had it. Can't say I'm tempted to even try it.... just looks so nasty lol... but I'm told it's devine!

Afterwards we went for a walk in the nieghbouring town, Nemi. Nemi is right on the Nemi lake, a beautiful natural lake, that is famous for its sunken Roman ships.
This small town is also famous for its tiny wild strawberries, which have a very distinctive sweet taste. They almost taste like grapes! I love them... but they are hard to find outside of the area. They are about the size of a large peanut... quite unique!

- : the outtakes : -

Overlooking

2007-10-30T12:03:00.000+01:00

I finally got a few things done round the house... or my room rather. My closet was just going apewire.. looks like a bomb had gone off in there... it was time to patiently refold and sort it out!
I said godbye to all my summer clothes and put them away too... I always hate doing that. Summer is my favourite season!

There was a band and small parade going on outside, because of some patron saint's holiday, or some church celebration... who knows... they always have some random reason to celebrate apparently.. Hahaha
Yeah... I'm not too educated on catholic holidays LOL

Anyways I decided to step out on the balcony and take a look. It's been prtty warm over the past couple of days. Makes a nice change after the Siberian cold we'd been experiencing during the week prior.

Looks like the neighbours in the building in front were watching what was gonig on down below too!

Considerations

2007-10-30T11:58:00.000+01:00

I will admit, it's been a pretty interesting week!
I'm trying to process it all.... yet not get too analytical. Going with the flow is the best thing for me right now... and not have any expectations.
That's hard for someone who likes to think things out like I do however!
I think the key word here is patience.
I'll try to remember that!

We had a fun night tonight. I like it when you get to do several things in the same night. Like meet up with different crowds.... it's like the night lasts longer than it does.

I like being independent and doing my own thing.... just another consideration...

Wanting, needing, waiting..

2007-10-24T15:54:00.000+02:00

I wanna kiss you in Paris
I wanna hold your hand in Rome
I wanna run naked in a rainstorm
Make love in a train cross-country
You put this in me
So now what, so now what?

Chorus:

Wanting, needing, waiting
For you to justify my love

Hoping, praying
For you to justify my love

I want to know you
Not like that
I don't wanna be your mother
I don't wanna be your sister either
I just wanna be your lover
I wanna be your baby
Kiss me, that's right, kiss me

(chorus)

Yearning, burning
For you to justify my love

What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
Talk to me -- tell me your dreams
Am I in them?
Tell me your fears
Are you scared?
Tell me your stories
I'm not afraid of who you are
We can fly!

Poor is the man
Whose pleasures depend
On the permission of another
Love me, that's right, love me
I wanna be your baby

(chorus)

I'm open and ready
For you to justify my love
To justify my love
Wanting, to justify
Waiting, to justify my love
Praying, to justify
To justify my love
I'm open, to justify my love

2007-09-27T12:33:00.000+02:00

Apparently autumn is here... or fall, according to where you're from.
Makes me think of poetry... I don't know why.
Seasons change as does our wardrobe. Some reflection of what lies ahead...

The Leaves ~ anonymous

The leaves had a wonderful frolic.
They danced to the wind's loud song.
They whirled, and they floated, and scampered.
They circled and flew along.

The moon saw the little leaves dancing.
Each looked like a small brown bird.
The man in the moon smiled and listened,
And this is the song he heard.

The North Wind is calling, is calling,
And we must whirl round and round,
And then, when our dancing is ended,
We'll make a warm quilt for the ground.

Fuzzy Pink Monkey

2007-09-21T12:01:00.000+02:00

Meet George. George has entered the family as of 3 weeks ago. He likes his new found family. Before he was living in a place called Too Much. He said that it was a friendly place, but very busy, and he wasn't able to ever feel at home.

He's a very friendly, sociable monkey... and loves the colour pink. We call him exuberant and happy.. yes, that's it a very happy, extravagant little monkey!

Oh btw... I've decided to take example from one of SSB's posts and tell you 8 little useless facts about me:

1. I've had my appendix removed when I was about 23? I forget now how long ago it was! But it was over the Easter week end!

2. I can roll my tongue... both from side to side, as well as in front.

3. I once got my hair caught in someone else's bag, while waiting to climb on to the school bus... as the girl in front of me moved forward I felt a really string tug on a bunch of my hair. Yeah... it hurt! I had to yell to get her to stand still long enough for me to remove my strands of hair from her duffel bag!

4. I have a belly ring. I got my bellybutton pierced while on vacation in Mexico, back in 2001. It's one of the best travel souvenirs ever!

5. I am afraid of moths. Rationally I know they are just like butterflies. In fact I love butterflies, they're pretty... but moths... eeeww! They are just gross! *shudder*

6. I drink my tea with milk in it, just like the British. People here in Italy think I'm crazy!

7. I don't know how to dive. I've tried learning several times.. I just can't get myself to do it.

8. I strongly believe that if I'd have pursued acting classes I'd have made one of the greatest actresses alive. I just left it as a "knack" I have. You should see the old home videos.. a real Drama Queen! Hahaha

Memes 'n' stuff

2007-08-21T02:46:00.000+02:00

So my friend Alison got tagged by a fellow blogger. He asked her 5 questions, which in turn she answered, of course...
And she left open the opportunity for others to be "interviewed".
Here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So, without further a do.. here are Ali's questions and my answers:

1) Your English is excellent. How did you get so fluent?
Well... I was born in the UK from Italian parents - both. Though my first words were of course Italian, the first language I spoke in school or learned to read or write was in fact English. I've been going to either English or American schools ever since, all the way up until the 5th grade going through to the 8th. Then from the 9th onwards I was back in the English schooling system.
Except for university, which I attended here in Rome.
So really... I'm what you call bilingual. Fluent in both English and Italian.

2) What's your favorite city in the world?
That's really a tough question and one I've tried to answer myself. I think after travelling so much and having lived in 4 countries, it's hard to pick just one place you'd like to live in or even one special place. I'd probably have to nail it down to a country, or two... those being Italy, Mexico and Indonesia.

3) You're Italian. What's your favorite food?
Oddly enough, Italian! It's a real cliche, I know... but the real Italian you get here in Italy is actually so diverse and so different that what has been exported abroad. Every region has it's own style of cuisine... there's so much more to us than just pasta ya know!!

4) Have you read any good books lately?
Yes I have! I absolutely The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini and Memoires of a Geisha, by Arthur Golden. Of more lighter reading, I very much enjoyed Little Earthquakes, by Jennifer Weiner. I loved her books so much I'm in the middle of reading her fourth novel!

5) How many photos do you take a day?
Well, up untill the burglary that took place on the 15th (Yes, that's right... they broke in to our apartment...) I took about 5 pics a day, on average. Sometimes just the few necessary ones to fill in My Daily Photo Diary post on Flickr, but on vacation in Spain a couple of weeks ago I took over 400 in one week!

--------------------------------

Great questions Alison, thank you!
If you'd like to play, ask me to interview you in the comments.

Old favs

2007-08-20T03:10:00.000+02:00

I dunno quite how it is, but I suddenly remembered an all-time fave movie of mine.
I seldom have faves. I don't like to pick just one thing to have, to like, to read etc.... I try to have a selection of thighs I like, depending on my mood, my state of mind etc.

Tonight, while browsing some friends' blogs and myspace pages I suddenly heard Billy Crystal's voice from the movie City Slickers: "Helleeeeeeew" as he says hello to the cow.
Which got me on to thinking about When Harry Met Sally.
do anyways, but how many of you actually recall I'm not sure how many of you recall that movie. Sure most of you recall the storyline, or most girls the script? That's some great dialogue right there! It's not often I remember movie dialogue, or even care to look it up on the Internet, but this has to be one of the funnies, truest dialogues I have come across in Hollywood movie history... that I can recall anyways.
For this and several other wonderful reasons, this movie is now officially in my All-time Fave Movies listings.

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: I guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

-------------------------

More quotes

Unease and violation

2007-08-16T22:56:00.000+02:00

We got burgled last night.
Right now I am at lack of words to explain how I feel. I am also alone, as my parents are out of town and won't be able to make it back until the day after tomorrow, seeing as it's a long drive.

I woulnd't wish this on my worst enemy. I feel sick to my stomach. Walking in home last night to find the mess I did leaves you feling so violated and alone.
I am of course without a pc too now. No need to mention that ALL my photos were on my HD and I hadn't yet gone about doing a back up of them.

I haven't gotten round to tidying up the mess they left. I just want to not think about it. I can't bring myself to....
I can't even leave the house until they come and change the locks, seeing as they took ths spare house keys! Hopefully they're taking care of that tomorrow morning so I can go back to work.

Luckily I had a friend sleep with me last night. And thank god they left my sister's pc behind. I couldn't imagine being stranded at home with no tv, no pc and no one to talk to or hang out with! It's vacation time and most of my friends are out of town, the few that are here are either working or busy.
Fortunately my brother is coming to spend the night.

I'm starting to get really paranoied and jumpy. I keep on hearing funny noises and not liking it!
Man paranoia sucks, ladies and gentlemen!

Now... can I have a group hug please?
= (

Living it up in the sun

2007-07-31T14:10:00.000+02:00

Aperitif on the Beach!

For those of you who don't know, Aperitif, or what it means to us here in Italy anyways, is like drinks hour, before dinner, like 6-8pm... you usually pay a fixed amount and there's a buffet and music.
They do this all over Rome, in loads of bars, and now on the beach too....

So... imagine sipping your drink, in a bikini, as the sun starts to set and all the warm, tanned bodies on the dance floor.... and the music is blaring. Loungey, or funk or house music.

I love it!

We had a ball. It marks the official start to the holiday... well sort of!
Francesco and his friend are off on vacation on Thursday, which means I probably won't seem him 'till sept at least... if not October. He's off without a return date seeing as he just graduated college.
I'm off on vacation on Saturday, so with this all in mind, I'm leaving home behind and am just going to enjoy myself and forget about work, my family, traffic, possible flirtations and annoying exes!!

Letting hope lead the way

2007-07-24T13:03:00.000+02:00

I was talking to my friend Ashley, who also recently dumped by her boyfriend. Now given that she's only 19 and that her "relationship" lasted only a few weeks, I couldn't help but ponder on some things.

I was trying to comfort her, and in doing so I realized as few things myself.
She was talking about how she'd come to realize that certain things happen for a reason and that she knew that, eve though she didn't want it to be over, even though she was hurting, she was going to accept her fate and move on. She knew that she was going to be ok.

I wrote to her and congratulated her on her wisdom.
I told her that wisdom is a good thing. I told her how happy I was that she was able wash away her troubles and look to a bight new day for comfort.

As a good friend told me, life has a way of working itself out... I pray God that it will work for me too.
I too need to find my own path again and move forward.
It's not easy but if we hope and try, and do our best, then we'll have done our duty.
Because after all, trying and hoping is all we can really do.

Right??
= )

restless

2007-07-20T01:27:00.001+02:00

I'm not very talkative lately.
I'm up and down these days. Good at times, thoughtful at others...
I wouldn't say I'm sad, or upset, but there are still some things unresolved in my life. I'm still trying to figure out wtf is up with my ex, and why he won't send me my things.

I'm trying to let go and move on, but it's hard. I'm always wanting to know what's going on and what he's up to, who he's doing it with etc. I'm only causing myself pain, yet I keep doing it.
Why are women so masochistic at times?

Plus, I have all these ideas in my head of things I'd like to do, or not do, and they all contradict one another. I want to buy a new scooter, 'cause my old one is falling apart. I want to buy a car 'cause I'm tired of having to share my mom's with my brother and sister...
I want to move and find a better job, but I don't know if I really want to do it.
I want to leave Rome, but I want to stay.

I dunno. It's like I want to do it all, but nothing at the same time. I'm not sure it makes any sense but I think I've lost my direction. I've lost my drive. I feel restless and all sorts of messed up, like the picture of the closet you see above.
Plus, add on that my selfishness.... I just don't want to have to deal with my family ya know?
I'm so ready to move out, yet I have no money to do any of the above...

I'm really counting the days 'till my vacation. I think leaving town for a week will do me good.

Lilli Allen ~ Smile

2007-07-11T12:52:00.000+02:00

Lily Allen Lyrics

When you first left me
I was wanting more
But you were f**king that girl next door
What'cha do that for?
(What'cha do that for?)
When you first left me I didn't know what to say
Never been on my own that way
Just sat by myself all day

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends,
I found the light in the tunnel at the end
And now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
It's only because you're feeling alone

At first when I see you cry
Yeah, it makes me smile
Yeah, it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

Whenever you see me
You say that you want me back
And I tell you it don't mean that
No it don't mean that (no it don't mean that)
I couldn't stop laughing
No I just couldn't help myself
I See you messed up my mental health
I was quite unwell

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends,
I found the light in the tunnel at the end
And now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
It's only because you're feeling alone

At first when I see you cry
Yeah, it makes me smile
Yeah, it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

At first when I see you cry
Yeah, it makes me smile
Yeah, it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

At first when I see you cry
Yeah, it makes me smile
Yeah, it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

today, I have this.

2007-06-27T00:40:00.001+02:00

Doesn't this just have Italian lifestyle written all over it?? I love Rome for small little things like this... a view like this makes me smile and forget what ever is bugging me inside....
I don't think you can fully comprehend what it is like to have this and live this every day (when you're lucky enough to be able to get out and go walking about...) unless you too have experienced this on a regular basis.
Tourists.... sure they take it all in, they dig it. But we... us locals... we live it!

I'm tying to be thankful for what I have, and not regret what I'll miss out on. And today, I have this.

Something to hold on to...

2007-06-27T00:29:00.000+02:00

I'm a bit down and out these days... a lot of things on my mind. A lot of uncertainties in my life right now.
It's funny how one moment you think you're fine (well you are, rather than just think it...) and then the next you're down again. It's true when they say that life has it's ups and downs...

I had yet another disappointment yesterday... nothing serious but still, shit like this just stops you in your tracks ya know? It leaves you "flabbergasted"... speechless and your heart skips a beat.
I found out my two co workers (who work in the same room, at the same desk as me) were gossiping and talking behind my back. But it was just pointless, stupid, infantile crap, really not worthy of note... yet it hurt me, because I thought they were my friends...

I'm so fragile right now, not even I realized it. I'm trying to be brave and look forward and make it out like it's all just water off my back... but really, I'm hurt. I am. And I think it's safe to say that it's ok. I have every right to be hurt. I think I'm allowed to be...
Honestly, I think I'm doing all too well.... really I am. But then it's moments like these, that makes you feel they're taking away the rug from beneath your feet, ya know?
Disappointed. It's a good adjective for me right now.
I am disappointed and disillusioned.

Like Samantha Jones

2007-06-14T18:26:00.000+02:00

Remember the series Sex and the City? Let's face it, every girl at one time or another has recognized herself in one of the wonderful 4 characters, fruit of the imagination and pen of Candace Bushnell.
I've always recognized myself more in Carrie, certainly not for her sense of style or for her wonderful figure, but more so for her spirit of initiative and her romantic nature, for her originality and her creativity.

Well... what can I say... last night instead I felt different... I felt alive, enthusiastic. Excited! (Or maybe as my friend Sammy says, liberated).
After a pleasant evening in the company of 3 friends, I retired for the evening in sweet company. It's great when a smile or a glance can speak 100 words.

And this is where the splendid, sensual and provocative Samantha Jones enters my world. Remember those sometimes comical, adventurous, crazy scenes, in the series? I used to feel so entertained in watching how Samantha could flip an otherwise embarassing negative situation and turn it into something to laugh about; how her dialogue, so direct and upfront, almost became an extra character to the show.

Well, let's just say that last night I identified with her somewhat. What is there to be said when your piercing gets stuck in someone else's belt? What are you to do when your cellphone goes off right at the least appropriate time? Nothing, nothing... as the Countess would say, just improvise and move on from there!!
At the end of the night, all that matters is the shared laughter and the naughty complicity.

I hope that each of you may find a bit of Samantha in yourselves every now and then, as it never hurts... especially when the day after, at work, your co-workers tell you that you should find Samantha a bit more often!

Dedicated to my Italian friends - Dedicato ai miei amici italiani

2007-06-07T00:51:00.000+02:00

Per tutti voi che mi seguite con fatica... ho creato un nuovo space msn livespace.

SSC and the City

Ci vediamo lì!

And again, and again, and again.

2007-05-31T18:21:00.000+02:00

You ever wish you were someone else? Well not an entirely different person, but just different I guess.

I wish I knew how to bite my tongue, I wish I knew when to shut up.
I wish I were less judgemental, I wish I were more understood.
I wish I had more faith and I wish people had more faith in me.
I wish I could change who I am, and change people's opinion about me.
I wish I could get a second chance, I wish I'm seen under a different light.
I wish I were worth fighting for, I wish my words wouldn't go misunderstood.
I wish I had the answers, I wish I knew the right words to say.
I wish I could go back in time and take back all the wrongs I did, I wish I'll never make a mistake again.
I wish I knew what to do, I wish it were easier.
I wish I were closer, I wish the good in me would prevail.
I wish you'd forgive me. I wish my dreams will come true.
I wish you still have faith in me. I wish you knew how sorry I am.
I wish I were with you.

Another great photo Sunday!

2007-05-23T01:48:00.000+02:00

Just like last time I went on a Flickr Meet, this Sunday too was ROMAMOR's monthly outing!

There was a group of about 40 of us, it was great!
We went to visit the Valvisciolo Abbey, near Norba and the Ninfa Gardens, which dates back to the 1100's... I think! (I was too busy taking photographs to pay attention to the tour guide!!).

Not only did we have a great time, we were blessed with great weather and wonderful company. I was able to learn a lot from my fellow flickrites and I am pretty pleased with my work!

For those of you with a very analytical eye, you'll notice some change in photos.... this is because I started off the day shooting with my compact Canon IXUS 60 (also known in the USA as Canon PowerShot) but then my battery died, and although I had a spare battery with me, I later realized that the spare had not been charged after it's last use... so alas I was cameraless... but my dear friend Peng was kind enough to lend me his Canon EOS 20D, a wonderful DSLR!!! (Not to mention the great selection of lenses he owns.... needless to say, I was drooling!)

Be sure to check out my other work and come back in a few days, I'll be adding more.

From the rooftops

2007-05-16T18:11:00.000+02:00

As I've mentioned before, I work for a very large Lottery company. It often sponsors various cultural events, one of these being the art exhibit of Marc Chagall's work.
As employees of this large company we often get to benefit from some perks, such as free tickets to art exhibits or free tickets to basketball games.
Tonight my friends and I went to see the guided tour and had a complimentary buffet on the roof terrace of the Vittoriano!

Not only was the guided tour wonderful (you get to see interesting works of art explained to you. You get to learn about all the reasoning and mental state of the artist, his life) but the wonderful buffet that followed was just exquisite! I felt like royalty. We had the place to ourselves. The view from the roof terrace was to die for and the waiters bringing silver platters back and forth were the added magical touch in such a beautiful surrounding!

Please take time to look at the other shots!!

My garden in the sky

2007-05-06T19:03:00.000+02:00

As some of you may or may not know, I live in an apartment and therefore have a balcony instead of a back yard.
I have to say that we're actually rather fortunate to have a fairly wide balcony. We're able to fit a round garden table that seats four, and we have quite a few flowers and plants, in pots obviously.
My mom is quite the gardener. She's also had practice with real gardens, so she knows what she's doing!

(Un)fortunately, as mentioned previously, the apartment complex is being renovated. This is obviously good on one hand, but the down side is that all the work and scaffolding is making an awful mess. There's lots of cement droppings everywhere.... the pots have been moved... basically the balcony isn't very presentable.

In all this mess however, spring is still in full bloom. Nature is nevertheless taking its course, careless of what goes on in the surroundings. That's a comforting thought really, if you think about it!

Days go by...

2007-04-29T17:28:00.000+02:00

It's been a while since I've written in here. I guess haven't had much to say.
I've been trying to keep a steady path. There's been a lot going on in my mind. I've been working on a lot of personal goals. Not so much materials goals, but I've been working a lot on my inside self.
Things with my friend Milena have rally gone down hill. I've been talk to my friend Francesca about it, about the mistakes I've made in the past, about my personal flaws, about how I am.
I know I'm not perfect. There's a lot about me I'd like to change.
I sometimes take a step outside myself and try to look in and see. I'm surrounded by a family that has issues. We are a very lively bunch, to out it nicely!

I think I'm maturing, I'm recognizing and seeing what I don't like and trying to change that.
It hasn't been an easy task, but finally I'm realizing that sometimes it's ok to just let go of things.

I'm the type of person that wants things right here and now. When I have a goal, or something I deem necessary to do, I want it done yesterday. When I have a problem or something on my mind, I want to tackle it from every angle. I dwell on it, think about it, turn it upside down and inside out. I know not everyone is like that, and realizing and accepting that we're all different is part of this maturing process I've set myself.
Part of my problems with other people, with people I care about anyways, was the fact that I often try to impose what i deem is best and I guess what often work for me, doesn't necessarily work for others. I find it hard to give up on what I believe is important and accept that dping something another way too is also ok.

This may seem trivial to some, but for me it's been very hard to accept. I'm a perfectionist, and sometimes allowing other people to work at their own pace is hard. I don't think I'm better than others but I can be picky on how I think things should be done.

I don't want to blame my family and my upbringing for my shortcomings or for the flaws in my character, but your parents, their ways and how you were brought up inevitably leave their mark. You're somehow influenced in seeing the world in a certain way, your view is tinted by the filters they put before you. I'm trying very hard to recognize this, and accepting these limitations in my character has not been easy. Sometimes you feel like crap when you realize that you've unwillingly hurt someone or made a bad impression. Accepting this and openly admitting it takes great strength and great balls. Not everyone is ready to publicly voice their mea culpa.
I feel good about myself for having done this, and I think that recognizing and pinpointing the problem is half of the job done, already. Admitting you're wrong or that you have a problem is the hard part. Working on yourself to fix the issue can be done. Sure it costs a lot of constant effort and strong will. It takes time and perseverance.
I am determined to keep working on myself to improve my life and the life of others around me.

If only others would stop to take a look in the mirror and work a little on themselves a bit, we'd all live happier, more serene lives. Sometimes it takes so little to make others smile.
It's time we all stopped to smell the roses every now and them.

Reposted from Sunday April 15th

2007-04-17T22:29:00.000+02:00

Today was a good day.

I spent some quality (phone) time with my fiancé. *sigh*

I got an unexpected invite to go for a stroll downtown (it was a gorgeous warm sunny day).

I got another invite from some other friends to go for the typical Italian Sunday evening "Aperitivo".

I had fun on all counts.
It's on days like this that you realize that it really doesn't take much to make you happy...

I remembered to take my camera with me today, so while downtown, I was able to take a lot of great shots. Well... I think they're great, anyways!

Check them out!

Why I love America...

2007-04-10T13:25:00.001+02:00

Would You Like Fries With That?
Originally uploaded by my new clever name.

... because you guys manage to make a joke out of just about anything!!

Gotta love a good sense of humour!!

; )

My First Fickr meet

2007-04-03T02:06:00.000+02:00

Sunday was the best day ever!!! Not only did I go on my first Flickr meet, but I went on my very first "serious" photographic excursions!!! I mean, there were real top notch photographers here... lemme tell you! Did I feel like a baby in the shallow end of the pool, with arm bands and everything or what!

My friend and I went very late... most people met at 11am. We only decided last minute and got there at about 6pm!! Luckily daylight saving time has set in, so we had an extra hour of light.

I found it VERY hard to choose one picture from today. I think I did pretty good and took some great shots, all considering the limitations of my basic digital camera.
However, this was my choice. I hope you all like it!

I rarely ever brag but please do take some time to see the entire set, or, if you prefer, the slide show. Some really are worth your time, I promise!
Feel free to give feedback... most appreciated!

Depeche Mode - Somebody

2007-03-31T22:31:00.000+02:00

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
Shell get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
Shell hear me out
And wont easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact shell often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
Ill get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

Into the mystic - Van Morrison

2007-03-30T01:34:00.000+02:00

We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home
And when that fog horn blows I want to hear it
I don't have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
Then magnificently we will float into the mystic
And when that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home
And when that fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it
I don't have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And together we will float into the mystic
Come on girl...

I need your help...

2007-03-28T01:28:00.000+02:00

Yes that means you!

A dear friend of mine bought Michael and I a domain each. I asked him why, he said that we've been such good friends over the years that he wanted to give something back.
I thought it was a really sweet idea, so with little hesitation I accepted his offer.
After spending about 20 minutes trying to find a name I liked, and miserably failing (all the URLs I wanted were already taken - typical right?) I came up with the name.... wait for it.... are you sitting down? Brace yourself here it comes.... PINK BOXES. Go on, laugh.... I know you want to, and it's OK, really it is!
I'm quirky like that, and silly at times... no OK, make that most of the time. If you can't laugh at yourself, then you're obviously not doing it right, agreed?

So anyways.... where does your help come in? Well.... I dunno what to do with this new space, with this new website.... so I need all of you few readers out there to tell me what you'd like to see.

Now bare in mind the nature of the URL thus the website... it's got to be something fun, light hearted, playful if you will.
Every single person who reads this post has to make a suggestion... now getting out of this one... that means you Steve, or John or Jay... who always only ever read and never comment!!
I need help on figuring out what use to make of my new gift. Common people, don't disappoint me now in my hour of need, I'm counting on your support!!

OK wow, better yet... I just had a super idea!! I'll make a contest out of it, in order to give you guys extra incentive to help!
Who ever suggests the winning idea will get mentioned in my website, somewhere on the home page... I might even make a special banner or something in their honour!! How's that for a great prize, huh!!??!

Ok, so come one people, put your thinking caps on and let's make this site rockin'!!

:°°:..: Pink Boxes :..:°°:

When it rains it pours!

2007-03-22T20:08:00.000+01:00

When it rains, it pours... that's how the proverb goes right? Well, I guess you could say this couldn't be more appropriate this week!

I woke up yesterday morning to find the strangest of skies. At first the sun was out and the white fluffy big clouds looked like suspended cotton balls or something. I could just imagine myself jumping from one fluffy cloud to another. (I think I've wished to be able to do that more than wanting to fly, ever since I was a kid!)
Anyways.... I get to work, and the sky still looks gorgeous... so much so that I am compelled to take a picture. In fact it's what you see here in this pic....

Little did I know what was in store for the rest of the day! I have never seen weather this crazy!
Now... rain I can handle, thunderstorms too... buckets and buckets of rain pouring from the sky is acceptable.... but hail??? See, hail is pretty rare here.... but 6 times in one day??? That is just crazy insane!!
The temperature obviously dropped, so it was quite chilly (nothing to US chilly standards mind you, but it was pretty cold for us...). But what was weird was that this went on and off all day! It's not like it poured all day, non stop, no... it pured, then the clouds would go.... then come back again... then at one point I thought it was night time already, as it was pitch black! The wind was really strong, pushing the clouds away and then back again all day....

Just as it has seemed to stop, and I was about ready to leave for work, it decided to hail for the last and final time today.... yup, just as I was heading out on my scooter!! Yeah fun!!! Those darn ice balls sure hurt on your face as you're driving by!!!

Unfortunately I have no before and after pictures.... I was too concerned about driving home and trying to salvage what dry bits I had left!

Because talking about random stuff makes you remember things...

2007-03-20T16:17:00.000+01:00

While joking around with my co workers I started reciting an old nursery rhyme I used to know from way back when...

Mary Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row.

Anyone remember that one?? I'm not sure if it's a known rhyme only in the UK or if it's known in the US too. Anyways, I remembered this rhyme because my colleague's name is Maria (Mary in English) and so I was sort of making fun of her.
Seeing as of course I know it in English, she wanted me to translate it for her... and as I was trying to explain it to her, I realized I didn't actually know the true full meaning of this nursery rhyme. So I did a little research on Google... and this is what I discovered.

The Mary alluded to in this traditional English nursery rhyme is reputed to be Mary Tudor, or Bloody Mary, who was the daughter of King Henry VIII. Queen Mary was a staunch Catholic and the garden referred to is an allusion to graveyards which were increasing in size with those who dared to continue to adhere to the Protestant faith - Protestant martyrs.

The silver bells and cockle shells referred to in the Nursery Rhyme were colloquialisms for instruments of torture. The silver bells were thumbscrews which crushed the thumb between two hard surfaces by the tightening of a screw. The cockleshells were believed to be instruments of torture which were attached to the genitals!

The maids were a device to behead people called the Maiden. Beheading a victim was fraught with problems. It could take up to 11 blows to actually sever the head, the victim often resisted and had to be chased around the scaffold. Margaret Pole (1473 - 1541), Countess of Salisbury did not go willingly to her death and had to be chased and hacked at by the Executioner. These problems led to the invention of a mechanical instrument (now known as the guillotine) called the Maiden - shortened to Maids in the Mary Mary Nursery Rhyme. The Maiden had long been in use in England before Lord Morton, regent of Scotland during the minority of James VI, had a copy constructed from the Maiden which had been used in Halifax in Yorkshire. Ironically, Lord Morton fell from favour and was the first to experience the Maiden in Scotland!

Another form of execution during Mary's reign was being burnt at the stake - a terrible punishment much used during the Spanish Inquisition. The English hated the Spanish and dreaded the idea of an English Inquisition. The executions during the reign of Bloody Mary were therefore viewed with a greater fear of the Spanish than the executions themselves - it is interesting to note that executions during her reign totaled less than 300 an insignificant amount compared to the executions ordered by her father King Henry VIII which are believed to have numbered tens of thousands!

I dunno about you, but these kind of things really intrigue me.... I always love learning little facts like this! It's incredible how much evidence of the past we hold on and bring with us, to this every day, without even realising it! Somewhere, in kindergartens all over the UK and possible the US, little children are learning and chanting nursery rhymes that have been with us for centuries!!

----------------------------
The drawing above, by the Scottish artist Shona Penny, was inspired by the origins of the 'Mary, Mary Quite Contrary' Nursery Rhyme.

Inspired

2007-03-19T02:25:00.000+01:00

Tonight I read somewhere:

"Live creatively or die"

I want to make that motto my own. I think it was written for me... I dunno, but I've taken it now, it's mine!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!

2007-03-17T22:51:00.001+01:00

It's not really a holiday here, but as most foreign customs, we've sort of adopted it as our own.

So, today is the day that everyone gets out and gets hammered right?? No different from any other Saturday night I guess... but I hear tales of free flowing green beer and leprechauns coming out of hiding and kissing girls when they least expect it!

So yeah... have fun tonight people. Be merry, have fun but most of all be safe! Oh and hey... tip your waiters and barmen or ok??

Spring is round the corner!

2007-03-13T17:08:00.000+01:00

Did I mention its spring here already???
All the plants on our balcony are blooming, and the lemon trees are expecting lemons!!! Even the kumquat tree is pregnant!!! It's pretty colourful out there... shame we have scaffolding. The building is being renovated....

I'm surprised to see that Spring is already here, and we haven't even really had a proper Winter. This winter has been so mild. It's hardly rained at all (mind you, we get more rain in march and april I think) or cold. I'm curious to see what this summer will be like!!

I don't know about you guys, but the sun has such an amazing power of putting me in a good mood. Sometimes there's nothing that can make me smile more than a sunny day!

That's what friends are for...

2007-03-07T13:07:00.000+01:00

I've come to realize... (and I know this sounds stupid) that friends are important in our lives.
It doesn't sound stupid in itself, but I guess it sounds stupid when I say that I've only just realized it.
Fact is... I've know this all along, but sometimes things just sort of slip out of your mind.
It's like when you have something, you forget how important and vital is it. Then when it's taken away from you, realize really how much it meant to you. You could say the same goes with friendship.
I used to have a lot more friends than I do now. Well, more exactly, I still have those friends, but we hardly see each other any more. People's busy schedules, work, relationships, what have you get in the way... and without even realizing it you end up not seeing each other for weeks in a row, then sometimes weeks become months!

I've recently had the opportunity of getting to know a few people and it's a refreshing change!
I can't say there are all close friends, or that I seem them often, or some even at all, outside work... but still. It makes you feels special. It's good to know that there is someone out there that cares about you, that wonders how your day is going, or that is curious enough to find out more about you because they like what they see, what they perceive about you. (I'm talking metaphorically of course, not about physical liking.)

Anyways, thank heavens for friends. They make me smile in a time when I need it most!

A girl needs to be reminded every once in a while...

2007-03-05T19:44:00.000+01:00

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

The hidden wonders of a woman's purse

2007-02-23T13:05:00.000+01:00

Have you ever noticed how men have a problem with the contents of a woman's purse?
I've experienced this first had several times, and got confirmation of it again, last night!

I'm sure most of you recall my photo diary that I'm keeping on flickr. Well, for yesterday's photo, I decided to take a picture of the contents of my purse. The comments I got back were very interesting....
Casey said to me that he was "bewildered as usual when contemplating the contents of a woman's purse".
Daniel asked if it is "normal to feel guilty when looking at the picture of a woman's purse" as if to suggest that he feels guilty when looking at the actual contents itself too.... and understood Casey's bewilderment.
Ted dared to say "I have been married for the longest time and still feel like a child about to be caught when I am forced to look inside her bag...nope don't like to go there - too many sharp things !"

Hello... sharp things?? What does he take us women for, serial killers who carry around a serrated knife or knitting needles?? Hahaha.. can you guys picture "Killer Granny" who terrorizes the neighbourhood and little kids with her purling??

I remember I went out on a date once with a guy who would barely even hold my purse for me, when I had my hands full... I mean, it's not like I wanted him to go walking round with is as a new fashion accessory or anything... I just wanted him to hold it for a second, because I had my hands full with something else. I told him it was OK... and that he could touch it, it wasn't going to bite him! He told me that he felt uncomfortable... I recall asking him to get me a tissue from my purse, because my hands were wet and I needed to dry them off... or something like that. Boy, was that a mistake, he near had a heart attack! He said that he felt awkward putting his hands in a girl's purse, even his sister's. I told him that it was OK and that he wasn't going to find anything "inappropriate" or embarrassing and that I gave him the go-ahead. Nope, it was a no go.... I had to get the darn things myself! So much for being there for your gal, right??

We have a saying in Italian that seems rather fitting at this point, which I guess could be translated to something that goes a bit like this... "He who does things on his own, makes for three". It basically means that if you do things yourself, you're probably more likely to get them done faster, as if there were three of you! Cute huh?? Nothing like age old wisdom, I say!! Our ancestors knew what they were talking about!

As for men and their issues with female products and their purses, I think they feel they're violating our most intimate sphere of "personal" or something, as if there's some boundaries that you just can't overstep. Whether that's true or not, I'm not sure. What I do know for sure is that
if a woman asks you to go in her purse and get her something, it's OK... if a woman needs assistance for you to hold her purse, it's OK... if a woman is showing you a picture of the contents of her purse, go ahead and look, it's OK!!
As for your feelings of squirmy discomfort and unease..... get over it!

So much for being the stronger sex!!

Darius - Incredible

2007-02-22T14:58:00.000+01:00

You said its over
I said that's ok
I wasn't in to you anyway
I told you lately
You irritate me your laugh is too loud
You're the last girl I'd look at
If you were in a crowd

Could you tell?
I was lying and hiding the truth away
And what I really wanted to say

Chorus:
Is you are incredible you are amazing
You blow my mind one of a kind
I'm having a meltdown
You are incredible you are amazing
But sometimes telling the truth
Is easier said than done,
Don't leave baby -
Now that's what I meant to say

My world's not ending I'll be just fine
That's what my mouth said
But not what I felt inside
I told you baby,
You're not the answer to all of my prayers
Cos I like my girlfriends in short skirts with longer hair

Could you tell?
I was lying and hiding the truth away
And what I really wanted to say

Chorus

Well I said I didn't care about what you felt about me
Couldn't care less about what I said or done
I didn't mean it - it's not what I meant to say
You know the truth is that I care
About what you think about me
Maybe too much, I've been putting on a front
I didn't mean it - and what I meant to say

Is you are incredible you are amazing
You blow my mind one of a kind
I'm having a meltdown
You are incredible you are amazing
But sometimes telling the truth
Is easier said than done, yeah yeah
Telling the truth is easier said than done.
Can't you see
Telling the truth is easier said than done.
Don't leave baby now that's what I meant to say

Of life conciderations and other stuff

2007-02-20T13:10:00.000+01:00

My friend Heather is a great thinker. She has a thirst for unanswered questions that is like no other. Her deep, intelligent posts keep me entertained yet provoke lots of thinking and introspection on my part. I like to follow her ideas with thoughts of my own... often some of my best posts are answers or comments to her own posts.... I know I've said that before, and I'm a firm believer of that still.

One of her latest posts that got me thinking had to do with the idea of knowing where you're headed; what lies ahead and having plans to making sure that your life path leads to where you want to go.
I told her that more often than not we have a plan, much more than we think we do. There are some things we want from life and other things we don't care for.
Sure... you might not exactly know where you'll be in five years... hell you may have no clue, but isn't that part of living life anyways?

I think it's pretty hard to have everything worked out to the T... and some element of surprise and "fluke" encounters are what make life interesting anyways...
If I had to think back to the kind of plans I'd made, I'd still be stuck with my ex in an unhappy relationship... instead, look at the "curve ball" life threw at me: one random night I'm in a chat room and I meet a guy who became a friend, then later became my boyfriend and now I'm engaged to him!
Sure, sometimes not having plans sucks.... but other times it can be so great!!

I think Heather knows who she is and what she wants in life, but it's always good to be open to any chance meeting or fluke that may cross our paths.

I love ya, girl!

Valentine's day alone

2007-02-15T17:48:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was a pretty normal day for me. I never gave Valentine's day much relevance, thought I always thought it nice to receive flowers, a card, a gift. Better yet would be to be able to spend the day with your loved one, sharing the day, doing something special together and just spending time together. Unfortunately I'm not able to do that, because Michael is far. As silly as Valentine's day can sound, knowing that most of the couples around the world are doing something special, having to sit at home just isn't fun.
Luckily I did go out though. I spent the evening at the usual pub I go to every Wednesday, with my friend Francesca. We meet up with other friends of hers and just spend the time chatting and having fun.

I came home afterwards and spent some time on the phone chatting to my sweet Valentine and told him how much I miss him!
Then I had a sweet moment all of my own: choc chip cookies and a nice cold glass of milk! YUM

Hope all of you had some sweetness in your day!

A woman has to know how to rely on her self

2007-02-15T16:30:00.000+01:00

There's nothing more satisfying than being able to rely on yourself in times of need.
I guess you could say my very eventful evening made up for a very uneventful day.
On Sunday I went to eat chinese with my sister Claudia. We don't really ever go out together, she's 7 years younger than me... (I'll be 31 this year, she's 24), but I'd been wanting to go eat chinese for some time now, and we're home alone this week, seeing as the parents are on vacation... so we made a night out if it...
Well, as we later found out, it became an adventure!

We had a great meal, talked about a lot of stuff, we got on really well... (we don't always - we have very different personalities...). On our way home, as soon as we hop in the car, I hear a funny noise coming from outside... so my sister asks me to stop the car and she hops out, only to confirm her suspicion... we had a flat tire! Ugh, pain the ASS!!!
No problem, really... I've changed a tire several times... no big deal right?? WRONG!!!! Try changing a tire with no jack!!! I dare ya, try it!!!
As you can guess... the darn jack was missing... where it went to, who the hell misplaced it I have no idea, but Alex was not a happy camper!!

Luckily all was not lost, as we were close to a pub, so I walked in and spoke to the owner, who kindly lent me his jack.... 20 or so minutes later, we're on the road again... and all is well, except for my back!
Oh well.... it'll be something to tell the kids about!

Oh and all the while, I did this wearing my new boots!!! Boy would I have been pissed if they'd have gotten scuffed or scratched... luckily they didn't, so you can all sleep tonight!

The pleasures and pains of having a new job

2007-02-09T17:05:00.000+01:00

Yeah so... I'm here at work, on a Friday afternoon (currently 5.02pm) and have nothing to do!
Hey don't get me wrong, I know some day, somewhere down the road I'll be complaining about the pile of work I'll have... how I don't have time to come up for air, but right now... zzzzzzzzz... I'm booooored!!!
See the things is, by contract my hours are 11am-7.10pm mon-thurs, and 11-6.50 on Fridays.
I can't complain really... means I don't have an early morning wake up call (wish is nice), plus it gives me time to do a couple of things in the morning before coming in to work, if I need to.

I have been temporarily placed at a desk in the Business Support System division, while the secretarial position is next door. This week end they are going to knock down a wall and create a bigger working space, to accommodate my desk. That way I'll be in the same room as my other two colleagues.

Because of the renovations which will take place over the week end, we've had to box everything up: phones, PCs, stationery etc. so I am now stuck at my empty desolate desk with nothing to do but surf.... *sigh*... it's a hard life!!

So yeah... the blog post is more of a time killer really.... only another hour and 40 minutes to go... yay!!!

So far so good!

2007-02-06T22:15:00.000+01:00

Everything is so colourful in my office!! It just puts you in a great mood, as soon as you walk in the door!
I think a happy and friendly work environment is so important. It causes less stress and makes concentrating easier.... that's what I think anyways!

Today was another easy day. I have to admit, I feel bad for just sitting around and not doing much. I feel so helpless and dumb!
I did some test exercises on their software I'm learning... it's not really hard... it's just a matter of getting the hang of their codes and abbreviations and such...
What's keeping me from actually doing any work is that for now my desk is in another room, just next door to the other PAs... so I have to keep going in and out to see what they're doing and get the hang of this. They still need to set up my phone and add some content on my pc.... but they'll get round to it soon enough...
For now, I'm observing and absorbing like a sponge!

I had to wait 'till almost everyone was gone to take these shots (I stay back later than most people anyways)... I'd probably get fired if they knew I was taking pictures!! I'm sure there's lots of competition that would love to get their hand on inside info!

'Cause I'm the shit!!!

2007-02-01T19:46:00.000+01:00

Oh I am so fucking cool, you have NO idea!!
I've had somewhat of a roller coaster week!!
It all started LAST week, when I went in for an interview with this really BIG huge company, that is doing very well. It's an Italian company that has pretty much has no competition so you could say it has a monopoly in its field.

They liked me and called me up again on Monday and asked me to go in for a 2nd interview yesterday. Now... you know how they say things always come in twos right? Well... as soon as I was done setting the date in my calendar for that interview, my cousin calls me up, telling me that a friend of hers has a job for me. So I speak to this friends who asks me to meet up with her the next day (Tuesday).
So Tuesday I go in an she tells me she needs some help for some PR work and press releases for this exhibition which is taking place in March. It's only a month's wort of work, but very cool nevertheless. Now I think you're getting the picture here... there's a sort of dilemma... or the start of a possible one... This lady here hires me on the spot. Great, cool... this is neat. But what about the other company? I don't know where I stand with them yet, as I have yet to meet them for my 2nd interview. I can't say no to this lady here, without knowing if L is gonna hire me right?? So what do I do? I go ahead and say yes to her.

Tuesday rolls around and I go to the interview at L. I can tell they like me... they tell me that if I pass this 2nd interview, there will be a 3rd, with Mr. BigWig himself, the guy who I'd be directly under, seeing as the position is for PA to Mr. BigWig #3... yeah he's the #3 of the Big Ass company. Shit!??!!! right?? So, the Head of HR steps out a sec and then walks back in and says "OK... tomorrow 10am." I'm like, WTF?? What just happened there? Suddenly my brain clicks and I realize she wants me come in tomorrow to meet Mr.BigWig himself.
Shit that's fast... they must really like me!

So "...tomorrow 10am" was of course today. I went in, waited about 45 minutes and then finally got called up. The head of HR is there and the head of Personnel... (yeah don't ask me the difference, I have no idea!). They tell me that there will be no meeting with Mr. BigWig because he had a sudden urgent meeting, but they talked to him about me and *drum roll please* they've decided to hire me!!!!

Soooo... you're now looking at the new PA to Mr. BigWig IT Manager at L!!
Suuhhhweeet!!
Tomorrow I'm signing my contract!

Everybody help me say ..."Show me the money!!!!"

------

If you're wondering what that picture is... it's the back to my new Moo cards. And just like me, they rock too!! Oh and yeah... the card is sitting in the rock salt box.... get it?? Rock salt... I rock?? LOL I'm dumb! But hey, I'm allowed to be dumb, I'm officially employed now.... goes without saying I had to turn the PR job down, but it's cool. This is the way I want it!

Somethings are starting to come together

2007-01-31T02:03:00.000+01:00

It was a good day!

I had a meeting... I got offered a collaboration.
I've been asked to help with press releases for an important exhibit that is in it's 13th edition. I'll be dealing with researching and contacting all relevant people in TV, press and radio and send out the press releases.
It's only a project that will last a because seeing as press conference will be held on march 1st, and the exhibit opens on march 22nd, but it'll be pretty interesting!
We have yet to discuss monetary compensation... so I'm curious about that too... all in due course.

As for my pictures... I was glad to be out! It was a pretty chilly day, but there was the most amazing gorgeous blue sky and a lovely warm sun... it felt good to be outdoors... I think the few photos I took reflect that, right?

This and today's other pictures (see "the outtakes") were all taken at a lighthouse not too far from my house. The area is called the Gianicolo Hill, also known as the The Janiculum and the lighthouse is called Il Faro del Giancicolo (The Gianicolo Lighthouse).

What the world needs now...

2007-01-28T17:13:00.000+01:00

I just realised there isn't enough love in the world. Or maybe there is, but we're too hung up behind social rules and psychological boundaries to let ourselves open up to free forms of expression.

I found something very interesting today, in one of the Daily photo diaries I read. PutYourFlareOn, from Flickr, saw the most wonderful thing the other day and posted a picture, with a link to a video of a phenomenon that's spreading pretty fast, the Free Hug Movement.
It amazes me to find that there are people out there who so freely bring a smile to your face and ask nothing in return.. I wish there were more people like that in the world and it makes me stop and ask myself what I am contributing to the world. What am I doing that brings pleasure to others without getting anything in return? What unselfish, unconditional act am I freely gifting away?
There's so much more than needs to be said about this, but somehow words fail me.
But it has definitely got me thinking!

--------------------------

~ photo courtesy of Brain Eden - All rights reserved ~

Open to dialogue

2007-01-23T11:00:00.000+01:00

I got an important call today... but more news about that on friday.

It was a strange day. I had some unsettled business from last night that was on my mind, but I had a few errands to do, so it was a good chance to get out of the house and take some much needed outdoor pics.
They're not great, but at least they add a bit of colour to my thread!

I was able to talk to the fiancé and sort things it. It's hard being apart... it's pretty much the only time we have problems. The distance just makes me grumpy.
Anyways, it's ok now, so it's time to add some colour and hope to my blog!

I chose this picture because I think that the open gate with the graffiti behind it expresses somewhat my emotions.
The open gate symbolizes my willingness to open up and confront myself with my other half... the graffiti behind it symbolizes the goal, within reach, of open dialogue, mutual understanding and respect.

We reached our goal.

I feel cracked inside

2007-01-22T00:08:00.000+01:00

Today wasn't a good day...
Well, it started off ok.... or sort of. There were some lingering feelings from last night, than made for an unsettling awakening, but I was ok until later this afternoon. I had an argument with my fiancé about what seems to be a reoccurring issue. I'm not getitng into it, but let's just say I'm fairly pissed.

I went to pay a visit to my cousin just before lunch, got a chance to take some pictures, including ones of the scooter. Then I came home. The afternoon was pretty much uneventful, as has been my night.

I'm getting ready to watch a DVD, might help take my mind off things.

I liked this picture and when I took it, I didn't realise that it would later pretty much sum up me feelings: I feel cracked inside.

Reflections.... in the mirror.... in my mind

2007-01-19T00:56:00.000+01:00

It turned out to be for a shitty position, totally not what I'm interested in... but such is life.
I came home and there was some much missed sun shining today!! I took my camera and took some shots... today was pretty much all about me... someone said I should shoot myself more (in the head, probably, but I think I misinterpreted).
LOL

I spoke to my friend in the US today, the one who's also marrying an American. (She's Italian like me). Things aren't going too well... she's coming home next week, cause her permit is over... but _I think she'll need this time back home to reflect on her relationship.
I knew she was rushing it.... it's not like Michael and I... we've been over two and a half years. We decided to get married after having dated over a year. We lived together for three months before deciding to make things serious between us. It takes time to get to know a person, to decide if you are ready to give up your job, your home, your life to spend the rest of your life with this person.
We're not talking about changing neighbourhood here... we're talking about giving up everything!! I too often stop and wonder if I will ever regret my choice. I haven't moved yet, but I know there will things I will surely miss from Italy. Life is so different here... people are different, customs are different...
I, though, have lived abroad pretty much part of my whole life. I know what it's like to live in the US, I went to an International school This was her first experience abroad... America is a world apart... it's a totally different reality.
I feel bad for her, because I know that things won't end well. I'm afraid that she won't be able to give up her life here. I'm afraid she won't get used to the change, to her future husband who so unwillingly lets go of himself to accommodate and meet her needs.
Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy... he's just too different from her...

Everyday I feel blessed because I have Michael. Other days I am scared we will never truly understand one another. As international as I possibly can be... I'm still an Italian... and Michael will always be American, nothing will ever change that. We can only hope to be able to bring our differences together and use them to create new wonderful things for each other.
Diversity enhances our relationship, not ruin it.
Everyone should learn from this... sometimes I wish travelling the world were a mandatory subject in school... Differences enrich our lives, not divide us.

Old habits die hard

2007-01-14T23:12:00.000+01:00

I got woken up at 10.45 am by my aunt who seemed to be appalled by the fact that I was still in bed at almost 11 in the morning!
I guess she doesn't realize I have a social life and that Saturday nights are for going out and coming home late! (Well mine anyways...)

I was debating weather to go to the flea market, but I did get up too late for it, and it was a grey day... and I don't like going out when it's grey..

I managed to get my hands on my Dad's camera while it was still daylight. I went out on my balcony to see what my neighbourhood was up to on a Sunday afternoon.
Sundays here in Italy are all about soccer. between 3 and 5 pm 99% of Italian males are either glued to their TV sets, to the radio or at the stadium. When the local team scores, you can hear the entire area rise in uproar with a huge cheer! It's like actually being at the stadium.
This Sunday no such thing happened. This usually means one of two things... either the local team is losing, or the game is very boring.
I was told that Roma won... so it must have been a very boring game with a very easy opponent.

While out on the balcony I was able to observe how in the year 2007 we are still very much attached to traditions. Though nowadays we are flooded with technology that allows us to almost anything with much less effort while saving so much more time, some people still dry their clothes the old fashioned way.
It's funny but comforting at the same time... it's like we're not forgetting our roots, where we came from and what our grandmothers taught us.
I'm not sure if this still goes on in other capitals of the world, but here in Rome, we hang our clothes out to dry publicly, rain or shine!

Today....

2007-01-13T03:14:00.001+01:00

I really have to say I'm getting stuff done!! Today was another very productive day!
It started off in my Dad's study... yes!! We had a guest over and she stayed in my room last night, so I slept in the study... my back is sore, form the shitty fold-away bed now!

Anyways, first errand of the day, another stop at the bank, but only for a quick deposit... no need to have issues of any sort today!!!
My next planned stop was going to be the dentist... as I had postponed it from wednesday, but seeing as I got done at the bank sooner than I had thought, I had some extra time on my hands. So I decided to go back to the Canon assistance and get my camera back, seeing as I'm not going to have it repaired.. (well, not for now anyways... I'm just too broke!). Then, off to my dental appointment!
I confirmed with my Dentist Carlo that today was "the last episode", as I put it!! He said "yes, yes, you're free to go...!!" That was a relief!! Hopefully I won't have to see him any time soon... only means bad news for my teeth if I do!

Home in time for lunch, then surfed on flickr a bit, and stopped by my little MDPD friends and said hello.... then back out again to go to a job interview... which SUCKED!!!
Well, it didn't exactly suck itself, the interview was ok... it wasn't really much of an interview anyways.... more of a presentation of what the job entails. It's a "Call Center" as we Italians like to call these places.... basically the home base of Telemarketing Sales jobs, ya know?... blahhh.... yeah I know, gross!!!
Would you believe I have a master's degree in Comunications and can't find better??? Crazy!!!! I really need to get out of this country!!
Anyways... the pay was so ridiculous, I doubt I'll be calling them back!

I forgot to mention the "fun" part of the day... (NOT!)
On my way to the job interview, as I was going round in circles trying to find the street... (one person told me "go there..." and another person to go in the opposite direction... and when I'm only a corner away from the place, a third person tells me it's in totally the opposite direction!!!) my scooter decided to die on me! Well, poor thing, he was right too... I forgot to feed him today! He wanted his "milk" so badly and I forgot to stop at the gas station!! Bad bad sunshinecity for neglecting my poor scooter!! He's like my baby, ya know! I paid for him, I raised him!!! We've been together for hmm... about 8 years now!!! I still have the receipt from when I bought him!
I'll have to post a pic one of these days as a tribute!

Anyways, so I parked the scooter close by to the office and walked the rest fo the way. On the way back, I had to walk to find a "Bar" (what in english is concidered a Cafè), find some empty water bottles, and walk to the closest gas station... then I pushed my scooter for a bit of the way, as I didn't want to have to walk all the way back as well....
Wow, I was sweating like a pig in labour by the end of that push!!! When I reached a slight hill I gave up! I parked it again and made my way to the gas station...
To cut it short, I got my gas, fed the baby and drove home!!!

*I'm pretty much relaying my Daily Photo Diary from flickr... seems to work well and gets me blogging every day this way...*

Movin' on through my list!

2007-01-11T23:58:00.000+01:00

Following my good deeds from yesterday, today I continued through the items listed on my to do list.
Today's errand was "The Bank". Dealing with banks here in Italy is rarely a pleasureable experience. The tellers behind the counter often make you feel as if they're doing you a favour in serving you, rather than actually doing what they're paid to do, assist you.
Bank company policies are terrible, often making the client feel "alone" and always in the wrong. Customer satisfaction is optional... basically when you need to go to the bank, you have to be mentally prepared for it... you have to psych yourself up and find all the "feelgood" vibes deep inside you and concentrate hard to keep smiling, through those grinding teeth!

I had to go fix a number of things... first of all, my online banking system was telling me that only a certain amount of purchases had been debited to my account, while my balance showed different. I hadn't forseen that certain expenses would be billed to me, and they had.
A while back I had my wallet stollen and in it was my credit card. When I got my new one, they idiots who take care of the online banking system never added the new card to my online account, therefore I was unable to keep track of my monthly purchases etc... (I often make many online purchases, therefore have no receipts... I forget to print them out!)
I also have a phone banking system, but need a user ID and PIN to access it. When they stole my wallet, in it was that information to access the phone system... so I was now unable to call them!
Then, because I had forgotten about some purchases I made, my bank balance went in the negative and (only by a tiny bit...) and they blocked my credit card! I am not even able to use the ATM even for just checking my balance or print out a statement!!!
So all these issues.... and a very frustrated sunshinecity!

I went to speak to the Home Banker who understood my frustation and was sorry for not having my recent card changes applied to my online banking... BUT was unable to fix it, as the bank was out of codes!!!! (Basically when you sign up for these online or phone services, they automatically give you user ID and PIN then and there on the spot, in sealed envelopes, but they had ran out of them, and would only have new ones in about 10 days or so!!)
How unorganised can you get??? Then we wonder why Italy is economically behind!!!
I wasn't even able to phone up my branch, as they've recently moved locations, and in the letter they sent out to inform their clients (which arrived only 2 days before their move!) they forgot to put their new phone number on it!!! Can you believe that??!!?
As Samrag would say....aaarrrrgghhhhhhh!!!!

The Home Banker was kind enough to reactivate my credit card, as policy would have it that they take it off my hands! : (
She felt bad.... as most of this (besides the too much spending) is their fault anyways!

My Daily Photo Diary for 2007 ~ update

2007-01-10T19:21:00.000+01:00

I mentioned my little flickr project in a previous post. It's been evolving really well!
The group is so diverse, so full of tiny little glimpses into different people's lives... I'm loving it!

Here's today's post:

I've been slacking lately... being lazy about getting stuff done. I've had a cough ever since January 1st, and although I'm doing something about it (ie, taking medicatoin, as per doctor's orders) it doesn't seem to want to go away! I think it has a crush on my lungs!!!
But today I decided get some things tken care of.
My camera was dropped by a friend of mine, and the lense got all bent and wouldn't retract. It won't stay on and basically doesn't work.
So I decided it was about time to do something about it! I was able to find the closest Cannon assistance, which told me that if the repair cost is €90,00 or less, they'll go ahead and repair it without calling to check up first. If the cost is superior, they'll call so I can decide what to do about it.
I went ahead and left it with them and on my way home stopped off at an electronics store and asked about some new cameras. I was told that my model's modern equivalent is the Canon IXUS 55, priced at a mere €259!!! Then again, that's what mine cost me two years ago!

When I got home I wrote an email to my friend who so kindly offered to pay for the damages (that he caused!). He was very nice about it and told me that he'd rather buy me the new camera rather than get my old one fxed, as he too didn't trust repairs.

I have to say that in my bad luck (having my camera broken) I was lucky! Why, you ask? Well, I was lucky enough to have it broken by such a nice guy! He offered to repay it! Someone else could have just said "Ooops... sorry!!).

I'm still slacking in other departments though, seeing as I was supposed to have a dental appointment, but didn't feel like going!! I've spent most of november and december in his office; going again today just wasn't gonna happen!
I had ongoing "work" done that lasted well over a month. He finally finished it two appointments ago, but from what I can tell this guy is a prefectionist! (Which is a good thing, when it comes to fixing people's teeth... Lord knows how many Quacks like to pretend they're good, when they're not!). Today was sort of like a check-up. He wanted to go over his work, give me a clean (the third in three weeks...) and hopefully it was gonna be the end of that... but I wasn't up for it!
I still have this damn cough, and I wasn't about ready to have to sit still while trying damn hard not to cough in the dentist's face!
My dad says that the dentist likes me, so that's why he wanted to see me again today! It's not true though... my dentist and his whole staff (One father and two brothers) are friends of the family, so he's just being extra thorough with me. It's nice... I feel cared about!
Anyways, I basically called up his studio and said I'd go in on friday instead. I wanted to get a few other things done today and luckily I did!

That's the highlight of my day... but when I was out, I didn't have my sister's camera with me. (She doesn't know I'm "borrowing" it!!) so unfortunately there are no related pics to go with my errand, and seeing as I so desperately wanted an outdoors picture for today's post, you'll have to settle with a shot taken from my balcony.

- Taken from ~ sunshinecity, a picture, a story

A week of bliss already over

2007-01-06T22:21:00.000+01:00

Some of you may know, others might not... Michael came over to visit for New Year's. He arrived on the 31st and left this morning.

I'm surprisingly feeling OK about his departure today, but last night... wow, I was a wreck.

This week together has been amazing. I know I probably always say that, about every stay or every visit. Every time, the time spent together flies by so fast, and we have such a blast, but this week's visit really was wonderful.

I'd been planning to introduce him to my family, seeing as every time he's here, he doesn't stay that often. He'd met my grandma and my cousin so far, but not all my other aunts and uncles and cousins. So we decided to have a dinner to introduce Michael to the family.
My mom had been preparing for this for over a week. She was making grocery lists, buying all the necessary ingredients for her recipes. She's been slaving away cooking all sorts of yummy things.
Finally the night of the family dinner arrived. Everything went so smoothly! The food was great, the company was wonderful. Michael really fit in! It's honestly so surprising to o see him get on so well with my Italian speaking relatives when there's such a language barrier. In all honesty, I'm so proud of Michael for being so patient and trying so hard to pick up every word of Italian he could. I think he's very good at learning languages... if only he were able to spend longer lenghts of time here, he'd be fluent in no time!

My family loved him! It was a wonderful evening. He is now officially part of the family. He's been welcomed by all. I can't wait for the wedding. I think it'll be great!

As for us... I don't think I've ever felt so much love for someone as I have this past week. It's almost indescribable. I know I'm probably rotting some one's tooth now, with this sweet mushiness but I just wanted to briefly share my happiness.
It will definitely be hard waiting for the next time we'll be together again. I don't know when it'll be. I really am hoping 2007 will have promising things on the horizon for us.

I read of other people's lives these past few days. I've been browsing blogs, and reading people's online photo diaries... we're not all so fortunate.
I know I am truly blessed. I am blessed with Michael. Nothing has ever compared. Nothing ever will. I am loved!

Somtimes we make mistakes, even though we don't want to...

2006-12-30T00:10:00.000+01:00

. : Westlife - I Dont Wanna Fight : .

I can't sleep, everything I ever knew
Is a lie without you
I can't breathe when my heart has broke in two
There's no beat without you

You're not gone but you're not here
At least that's the way it seems tonight
If we could try to end these wars
I know that we can make it right
Cos baby….

CHORUS:
I don't wanna fight no more
I forgot what we were fighting for
And this loneliness that's in my heart
Won't let me be apart from you
I don't wanna have to try
Girl to live without you in my life
So I'm hoping we can start tonight
Cos I don't wanna fight no more

How can I leave, when everything that I adore
And everything I'm living for
Girl it's in you
I can't dream, sleepless nights have got me bad
The only dream I ever had is being with you

I know that we can make it right
It's gonna take a little time
Let's not leave ourselves with no way out
Let's not cross that line

CHORUS

Remember that I made a vow that I would never let you go
I meant it then, I meant it now
And I wanna tell you so

CHORUS x 2

It's Christmas all over the world...

2006-12-25T15:09:00.001+01:00

Colosseo
Originally uploaded by Mulia.

yet another normal day here in sunshinecity's household.
Though my family doesn't celebrate Christmas or exchange gifts, I've always inevitably felt the Christmas atmosphere. You can't not feel it. Where ever you go, in the streets, in stores, to friends' houses, in restaurants all the decor and lights remind you of one of the biggest global holidays there are today.
It's a holiday that has been celebrated for over 2000 years and as far as I can remember, it's always seemed so appealing to me. The bright lights, the smell of burning wood, roasted chestnuts and the crisp winter air all have a magical feel to it, you can't help be part part of it.

Though I have never celebrated it, when I went over to the US, two years ago, I celebrated my first American Christmas. Some things are different from Italy, that's obvious. The different traditions are so curious and fun. The atmosphere that you breath in American households over Christmas is something hard to describe. I don't think any American can fully understand what it's like to grow up and be surrounded by the American way of life being portrayed in every movie you ever see, or in every product you ever buy. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, or a good thing, but the American way of life, at least here in Europe has been a role model, a stereotype by which past generations (those who grew up during WWII) have measured themselves up to and by which standards they've lived by or aspired to.

It was such a weird feeling to actually live this, to actually be part of it, rather than just witness it. When we say "oh you only see that in the movies" it seems like a cliche, but never in my life have I been so surprised to find that what you see in American movies actually happens exactly how you see it. All those traditions, the colours the atmosphere, really exist!
Like I said, it's something an American can't understand. No culture has travelled across the global and been an example for others as much as the American Way of Life has.
I don't think many comprehend what impact the US' presence in WWII has had. If you ask my Grandma she will tell you what it's like to have to hide and witness with your own eyes, through the tiny windows in the confining walls of a convent - her safe house - the arrival of the American troops, freeing the city and watch them as they chase the Germans away with their tanks.
That will inevitable leave a mark in your heart.

So two years ago, when I actually was part of this culture that I've always been surrounded by but never been part of, it was like living a dream. I fitted right in, as if I'd been celebrating it all my life. It was my first holiday with Michael, so of course its meaning was much more important to me than the significance of the actual holiday itself. The first celebration with a loved one, in their home, with his family. It was priceless.

Last year, we promised ourselves that it would be our last Christmas apart, hoping, almost knowing that by the summer we'd be together for good. Unfortunately things didn't turn out as we'd hoped. We're still apart and still waiting on this pending VISA.

Unfortunately this year didn't bring all it was supposed to. I had high hopes for 2006. I had high expectations and am a little less confident because of it. I've always been a "glass half full" kind of girl... still am for the most part, but when it comes to my future, to my aspirations and true personal desires, there's somewhat left to be desired in the optimism department.
As all of you make your way to or back from family celebrations, as all of you unwrap your presents and make wishes for the year to come, as all of you pray for next year to bring bigger and better things I too say a little prayer. I have a lot to be thankful for but...
May 2007 be my year.

Let There Be Love - Westlife

2006-12-21T00:47:00.000+01:00

Let there be you,
Let there be me.
Let there be oysters
Under the sea.

Let there be wind,
An occassional rain.
Chile con carne,
Sparkling champagne

Let there be birds
To sing in the trees,
Someone to bless me
Whenever I sneeze.

Let there be cuckoos,
A lark and a dove,
But first of all, please
Let there be love.

Let there be cuckoos,
A lark and a dove,
But first of all, please
Let there be love

DJ Michael Hardset's first ever Italian gig!!

2006-12-20T23:25:00.000+01:00

If you happen to find yourself in the Eternal City, you cannot miss out!!!

For more info - just contact me or DJ Michael Hardset at myspace.com/djhardset

a 365 day photojournal.

2006-12-18T00:53:00.000+01:00

I've taken on a big task.... I've decided to try and be comitted to this. I'm going to start an online daily photo diary of the year 2007.
I'm doing this through a group on flickr, but i'm going to post everything here too.

This is how it works:
I will post one, (and only one !) photo for each day of 2007 that will represent my day or its highlight. I can add text if I want, about my day, or not.
Everybody can post messages and comments.

Philosophy :

"This project is for firstly for yourself .
If you don't get that, you'll quickly stop, believe me.
People might have different reasons to do it.
I personally see this as an opportunity, in one year, to look back at what was 2007 for me. What it was made of.
So, if I'm in an office for 3 months, there will surely be 3 months of office pictures. Boring... as life in an office... as my life would maybe have been during those 3 months. But that's what it was, and that's what I have to show if I want to be able to look back on what my year really has been.

It's a really hard project to do until the end.
You'll have to take ONE PICTURE A DAY, every day, all year long. Whatever your mood is, whatever your life is like, whatever you go through, whatever free time you have. But in the end, I think it's worth it.
Think about this really seriously before jumping in.
Don't forget : you'll need to have a camera with you EVERY SINGLE DAY an entire year long. But if one day you don't have it, do not forget your cellphone might take pictures too !

And feel free to gather around and leave comments on other's topics."

- taken from the Flickr My 2007 Daily Photo Diary group.

I dunno, this sounds cool to me. I've seen other people do it, in some form or another.
I know there is a lot waiting to happen for me in 2007, firstly the beginning of the actual year... it'll be spent with my fiance. That's definately something new.
Be sure to come back as of January 1st 2007 and check on my photojournal: ~ sunshinecity - a picture, a story ~ !!

Please help support an important cause

2006-12-10T16:53:00.000+01:00

Many of us at times feel that some things are too much to bare. Sometimes we want to shout out our anguish to the world, sometimes we want to hold everything inside. Sometimes we just want to dissapear.
PostSecret has indirectly helped many people, over the few years it has been active, deal with their pain and problems.
These people need your help... please support and spread the word about PostSecret. Tell your friends, post about PostSecret in your blogs, on your websites, in your emails.

Show your support, spread the word!

To add this button to your website or blog copy the HTML code below:

<a target="_blank" href="http://postsecret.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/3633/postsecretuh3.jpg" border="0"></a>

It's that simple... that's all it takes.
You never know who you might be helping!

Thank you

From PostSecret:
----Email Message-----
Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2006 4:37 PM
Subject: Supporting PostSecret

Dear Frank,

I am a PostSecret devotee, one whose life has probably been saved by caring professionals and by knowing from the brave folk who bare their souls via postcard secrets that I am not alone with my feelings, my life experiences and my struggles with depression.

PostSecret is important to many of us, and I would welcome the chance to support PostSecret in a direct way. Please post other options (in addition to buying more books - I own all three and have given many sets as gifts, all well received) on the site so I/we can help.

-Thanks

Thank you for your kind words. My only hope is that we can continue to grow the PostSecret community in 2007. So with that in mind, here are 3 actions you can take, if you are so inclined, to help raise awareness of PostSecret:

1. Send an email to your friends and family with a link to www.postsecret.com (include an image, if you like).
2. Write about PostSecret in your blog and post a permanent link.
3. Write a story about PostSecret for your school newspaper.

-Frank

That's all it takes.... please help today!

Apparently this is who I look like...

2006-12-10T12:45:00.000+01:00

Anyone agree???

Messin' around...

2006-12-08T01:05:00.000+01:00

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

oh I highly doubt that!

--------------------------------------------

You Are "Dizzy and Giddy"

What Japanese Smiley Are You?

uhh... sure! lol

--------------------------------------------

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

ok, this one is soooo true!

--------------------------------------------

You Are 64% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

Yep, true!

--------------------------------------------

You Are 64% Brutally Honest

Most of the time, you tell it like it is. Even if it's hard for people to hear.
Sometimes you hold back though, because you never want your honesty to be hurtful.

How Brutally Honest Are You?

pretty accurate....

--------------------------------------------

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost.
You make a good puppet.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

????

--------------------------------------------

You Are 12% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You're so far from paranoid schizophrenic...
you probably found this quiz to be quite amusing.

Are You A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

hell yeah!!!

--------------------------------------------

Your Quirk Factor: 42%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.
Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

Hahahaha

--------------------------------------------

You Are 25 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

not bad!!!

--------------------------------------------

ok... enough bullshittin' for now!

Mother Fookers!!!!

2006-12-07T14:48:00.000+01:00

Well Grrrrrrr!!!!
I was at a bar last night, having fun... sitting all pretty. Got up to dance.... there were some friends still at our table...
Next thing I know, I look over to the table, our friends had gotten up too....
I spot my purse, alone, on the table... and some dude sitting on a stool right next to the table.
I think to myself... "OK, I don't like my purse being all alone on the table, with some dude right up close to it... not good".
So... maybe 2 nano seconds later I get up to go get my purse...
"Hmm..." methinks... "It feels waaay too light". So I unzip it, only to find my wallet was missing!!!!!
It was effin stolen!!!! Mother F*cker!!! Some shitbag, low-life, scum of the earth, rotten, stinckin', poop-eating jackass had gone and taken my wallet from my purse!
Argh... could this piss me off any more!!!???!
Good job I only had about $10 in there.... so UP YOURS, Chicken ass!!!!

I of course called to block my credit card immediately...
I'm pissed off more about the wallet itself, dang it! It was nice!!!! Plus I had some pics of Michael in there.... oh and my gym card, the kind wiht the magnetic strip... I'll have to pay to get that replaced..... SHIT HEAD!!!
I hope this dude's nuts fall off!!!

selfportrait

2006-12-05T19:45:00.000+01:00

selfportrait
Originally uploaded by sunshinecity.

I have had this picture posted on my flickr account for some time now.
In the six months that it's been viewable by the public, I have received so many comments, last but not least today's:

LaTur commented:

"As I experience it, appreciation of beauty is access to the soul. With beauty in our lives, we walk and carry ourselves more lightly and with a different look in our eyes. To look into the eyes of someone beholding beauty is to look through the windows of the soul. Anytime we catch a glimpse of soul, beauty is there; anytime we catch our breath and feel "How beautiful!," the soul is present."

by Jean Shinoda Bolen

Kinda makes you blush, huh??

You shoud see the other comments!

A friend sent me a poem

2006-12-05T15:53:00.001+01:00

She shared this with me. It's not about me or has to do with me in any way. I just really liked it and wanted to give it some exposure.

In the absence of love, there’s yearning for passion
In the absence of forever, one could ask for today
I want you to hold me and show some compassion
But if you command me, I’ll obey
In the absence of pure warmth, I feel your heat
In the absence of faith, you offer truth
Sure it’s skewed and cynical, but somehow sweet
The way you offer wisdom to my youth
In the absence of his touch, you offered yours
In the absence of support, you gave your voice
I always knew your heart was still hers
Love doesn’t always give you a choice
Two lonely hearts suffering at the same time
Both feeling disconnected
Crossing all of friendship’s lines
I wonder if this is what you had expected
When the two come together lost passion ignites
The clothes fall to the ground and down come the lights
Heat builds between them and gone are their thoughts
She squeals with delight for he does everything right
Gone are the worries and the struggles in life
Gone are the inhibitions that they thought they had
Gone are the titles like husband or wife
Gone are the feelings of lonely or sad
First comes the undeniable want to give and receive
Then starts the breathlessness and trembling thighs
The aching for him becomes too much to conceive
He sees that he's pleasing me by the look in my eyes
He enters my body and the world falls away
I feel his excitement with each and every thrust
It’s just him and I now in a sexual display
Completely consumed by lust
Hours go by and the want for more does not fade
Interludes of touching last from night into day
Desire still there as I get dressed to leave
Physical intimacy so gratifying, it’s just hard to believe.
It’s never easy to walk away from you
for you’ve filled me up in more ways than one
I don’t want to bid you adieu
For you are more to me than just simple fun
But I am not yours and you are not mine
We’ve accidentally connected without reason or rhyme
There are no rules for this kind of thing
I hope that this is friendship, but it may be just a fling
It started with a spark, and the gift of conversation
You coincidentally liked redheads and I, writers
Both in relationships filled with frustration
We were both lovers and fighters
Time blew by like it’s bound to do
Your relationship ended and mine did too
You were there when I needed you most
You invited me in and was such a good host
Thank you D. for all that you’ve done for me
I’m not sure I deserve it quite honestly
I’m all over the place emotionally
Thank you for knowing when to be there and when to let me be.

More silly stuff...

2006-12-02T01:49:00.000+01:00

Ohh this one is true!!!

Quiz time...

2006-12-01T13:33:00.000+01:00

I'm into this gaming stuff...
here... how well do you know me?

Create your own friendquiz here

Go ahead, take the test!

http://www.testriffic.com/friendtest/779288

Any Trivia fans out there??

2006-11-29T23:18:00.000+01:00

I just found this site called blufr. It's basically an online trivia site. It's really fun and the questions are really new and original.... I was really pleasantly surprised!
The cool thing is, you can add these little trivia questions to your website, to your blog, to email signatures... anywhere really!

So, what am I gonna do...??? Post a question here for you to answer!
Try it out, it's really fun!!!

Powered by Answers.com:
free online dictionary and more

Go ahead.... check it out and entertain your friends!!!

Blog pimpin....and other stuff

2006-11-28T23:53:00.000+01:00

I have been going through my Blog list these past two days. What's my blog list?
It's all those blogs I have saved in a folder with all my other bookmarks. Some I t read on a regular basis... others I even forget I have bookmarked, but all are worth checking out!
Now, since I recently discovered an awsome AWSOME feature on skype... (what is Skype? OMG, you still haven't got it yet???) I have been going through my favourite RSS feeds and adding each one to this new "contact" which I recently added to my skype contact

Ok, let me side-track one sec... this was supposed to be a brief post, just listing some cool blogs to check out, but as I wrote the short paragraph above, I just realised I mentioned a few terms some of you might not be familiar with.
Let's proceed in order:

Skype - Skype is a free program that uses the latest P2P (cutting edge p2p technology) technology to bring affordable and high-quality voice communications to people all over the world. When you use the free Skype software, you can connect to other Skype users so that you can talk and chat. You can voice chat, with headset, microhpone and headphones or you can use a skype VOIP phone.
Skype is built from the ground up for voice communications across platforms and around the world. You can also use Skype to make calls to any regular telephone number all over the world at very low prices. Skype allows you to easily talk for free to anyone else using Skype whether they are on Mac, Linux, Windows or Pocket PC.
Also, from Skype 2.0 for Mac and above you can make video conference calls with other Skype users and even if the person you are calling doesn’t have a webcam, you can still hold one way video calls.
Beyond all this, you can use skype like any other IM programe and tect chat, send files, and videoconference. Why is Skype better than Net2Phone, ICQ, AIM, MSN/Windows Live Messenger etc? Because it works! Most voice applications don't work well from behind firewalls and NAT (Network Address Translation) devices, and nearly all broadband users are behind a NAT or a firewall. Skype’s advanced design let's you call the whole world from nearly all kinds of network configurations without having to compromise your security!
High Call Completion Rate - No other application that allows you to make calls over the Internet has a completion rate as high as that of Skype.
Superior Sound Quality - Current voice and chat applications just don't measure up. Skype uses proprietary technology and has collaborated with the best acoustic scientists in the business to deliver sound quality even superior to that of your fixed telephone line!
Extremely Easy to Use - Current voice applications are difficult to configure and it seems like the provider assumes all its users are experts in engineering. With Skype, there is no difficult hardware or software configuration. You won’t have to work to use Skype; Skype will work for you!
Totally Secure Communications - Your calls are encrypted and are totally secure.
What are you waiting for, go download it NOW!
(Source - skype.com)
RSS Feeds - or web feed is a data format used for serving users frequently updated content. Content distributors syndicate a web feed, thereby allowing users to subscribe to it. Making a collection of web feeds accessible in one spot is known as aggregation.
In the typical scenario of using web feeds, a content provider publishes a feed link on their site which end users can register with an aggregator program (also called a feed reader or a news reader) running on their own machines; doing this is usually as simple as dragging the link from the web browser to the aggregator. When instructed, the aggregator asks all the servers in its feed list if they have new content; if so, the aggregator either makes a note of the new content or downloads it. Aggregators can be scheduled to check for new content periodically.
The kinds of content delivered by a web feed are typically HTML (webpage content) or links to webpages and other kinds of digital media. Often when websites provide web feeds to notify users of content updates, they only include summaries in the web feed rather than the full content itself. Web feeds are operated by many news web sites, weblogs, schools, and podcasters.
The initials "RSS" are variously used to refer to the following standards:
Really Simple Syndication (RSS 2.0)
Rich Site Summary (RSS 0.91, RSS 1.0)
RDF Site Summary (RSS 0.9 and 1.0)
RSS delivers its information as an XML file called an "RSS feed", "webfeed", "RSS stream", or "RSS channel". Programs known as feed readersor aggregators can check a list of feeds on behalf of a user and display any updated articles that they find. It is common to find web feeds on major websites and many smaller ones, such as on this very own blog.
Basically, if you want to stay up to date with a certain site, or have on the minute delivery of each new post, then this technology is very very useful. It's your very own personalised "door-to-door" content delivery!
(source - Wikipedia.com)

Now to get back to my post, when I mentoined the "contact" I just added to my skype buddy list, I was refferring to a website called Anothr which has created a Skype RSS robot. What this means is that if you add them to your skype buddy list, they will provide real-time alerts for your favorite feeds, just like any other feed reader. It's really simple and workes perfectly.
I have now started adding all my favourite blog feeds to it and as each blog is updated, I get a message in real time, from the Anothr robot, telling me the blog has been updated. It gives me the title to the post and a few lines from it.... now I will never loose track of any post again!

----------------------------------

OK... and here's my recommendation list! (These are all blogs)

AJK's Photoblog - photography and much more
Blog of the Mark - one man's experiences in the city of Milwaukee
Cooler insights - Tips, thoughts and tales on marketing communications, branding, public relations, blogging, social media and citizen-centric marketing
Life is Short... But Sweet For Certain - thoughts, photos, inspiration
Martinis, Persistence, and a Smile - for all you gossip and style-star lovers
Partially True Tales of High Adventure - the gritty story of one man's adventures with love, life, and danger! Truth and typos be damned!
Photography of the Mark - you read his blog, now see the world through his eyes.
PostSecret - an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard - that' s how the site describes itself, but it is so much more! I recomend this be mandatory reading for everyone!
Random Thoughts of A Restless Mind - the writings of a smart, witty, entertaining girl from Ohio
rvds.design - cool tips, ideas and extracts of daily life from one guy's UK perspective on life
The Memoirs of Sophie T. Mishap - this one I haven't quite figured out, but she makes me laugh!
The possibility of Fire - thought-provoking reading
The Style Police - pop culture for dummies... a gal from sydney's point of view
Point and Click - brief thoughts, good photographs
Where's my daughter? - a blog full of the kinds of mundane things mothers like to know. Of course, all of you who are not her mom are also welcome

That's all folks!!

Reflections on what was

2006-11-27T00:03:00.000+01:00

Today was my ex's birthday. I hadn't thought about it all day and then before going out tonight I remembered and sent him a text message to wish him happy birthday.

The story of my ex and I is a long one. Not because of its up and downs, not because it was complicated and drawn out. I call it that, simply because it was a long relationship. We were together for 6 and a half years. It wasn't my first love but it was my first long, serious relationship.
Our parents knew each other, we are of the same religious faith and we thought we'd end up together for the rest of our lives.

I don't think back to that time of my life with regret or with nostalgia. It was an important time of my life. I have a lot to be thankful for. Those years with him formed me, we grew up together. I am the woman I am today also because of him, and I think the same can safely be said for him.

We barely knew each other when we started dating. I was only 21, he was 23. We were in our first years of college. We were young and life was still a game. Though different, we were attracted to one another. We had nothing in common, yet him being so different from me attracted me. In time, of course, our attraction matured and developed into something else. We became very close to one another. I was living away from home and in his family I found a second home.
We continued to see each other and spend all the holidays together. We were working hard to finish school and we were becoming young adults. I was finding myself interested in certain things, while he was interested in others. While he was growing more and more attatched to his religion, I was enjoying my social life.
Inevitably we started drifting. Our love, in time, started to fade and often we butted heads on anything and everything. We had started to fall apart. Towards the last year of our relationship, being together just seemed to be an automatism... it seemed like one of those automatic mechanisms you have or do without even thinking, like brushing your teeth or breathing.
Somewhere within those almost seven years we had lost one another. We had lost the meaning of our relationship or what being together was all about, and whatever we first saw in one another seemed long gone.
I am able to say this now, reflecting on it, but when I was actually living this, it never hit me. Sometimes I felt like I was someone else looking in. If I stood back and took a glimpse at my life from the outside... deep down inside I knew that things were different, that we didn't love each other anymore. It was, however, a deep hidden feeling, almost sub-conscious. If it had been so obvious I would have taken steps to maybe end the relationship, or at least confront D. with these issues. But for some reason I never spoke about it. I never mentioned it... never willingly admitted it, not even to myself.

I have no regrets or remorse on how our relationship ended. We didn't have a big fight, or say mean things to one another. We simply just one day confronted each other and said that things couldn't go on with the way they were. In all honesty, it was D. who came to me. He told that our difference in opinions on how to live our lives, from a religious point of view, couldn't possibly be promising for a future together. I was faced with a choice... change and adapt to his way of life or.....
Or???? At first this hit me hard. I was devastated. How could I give up my beliefs for someone? How could I live my lfe pretending to be something I wasn't? Mostly, why was I faced with the choice?
We took a breather. We decided to think things through. I cried. I talked it out with my parents, with my best friend and suddenly it hit me. This is who I am now. I can never be what I'm not. I can't change and give up what I believe in, or adopt beliefs which aren't mine. But mostly, I want to think about me, about my life. Me me me.... no where in my thoughts was there ever the notion of losing him. It was clear. "It" was gone. The love that we'd shared for so long, somewhere somehow, had ended.
In those 20 some days apart, I had made my choice. By the end of the first week I knew that our relationship had been over for almost a year now. The hard part was finding a way to tell him.
I wasn't sure what to expect. I had no idea if he felt the same, if he'd be glad to see this end too or if he'd be hurt. I didn't know how he felt about me. We had grown so apart I no longer knew who I was getting ready to confront.

It was a very hard, trying time. Never have I felt so alone. Not alone in it's usual sense, but alone in the sense that, I realised that in the last few months I had been with someone, a partner, but I felt like I was sitting next to a stranger. I didn't recognise him anymore. Wehen I told him how I felt, and that I was ready to end it all and walk on without him, he told me that he too felt the same and had felt this way for some time now. How could we just not have noticed? We had been looking the other way for months. What were we so busy doing to not notice that somewhere we had lost one another?

I don't know why I am sitting here telling you all this. It's not like I look back with sadness. I have never been happier. It was the best decision I have ever made. Sometimes things just come to an end and then you move on. For some reason though, tonight, as I remembered his birthday, for one instant it was as if I was looking back in time and seeing what my life used to be.
I don't miss him, nor what my life was like back then. I am glad to have lived those moments, shared my past with someone. If I had to go back, I'd do it all again. I can however say that sometimes remembering a time so far away makes you nostalgic. Not neccessarily nostagic for the times itself, but I guess thinking that so much has changed in so many years just can't help to make you think about it. It makes you realsie that life has gone forward. Whether we want to or not, times passes.

I see myself now, such a different person, yet still the same. My life now is completely different. I am engaged and hoping to get married by the summer. I am with a man that in some respects is completely opposite to D. I have moved forward, grown up so much. I don't miss anything from my past. For so many reasons I am thankful for what I experienced back then. I now know what I want in life and what I seek in a partner also because of what life and what being with D. taught me.
They say you learn from your mistakes. I don't concider D. a mistake. It was great while it lasted. He was my first love and as such will always stay in my heart. However, I now know that I can look forward and only wish that what I have with Michael today will always stay special and never ever be taken for granted. I want to marry him and share our life together, our dreams and always have him by my side, no matter where our lifes takes us. No matter where the road leads us, I pray we'll always be together, happy, respectful of one another and thankful that we found each other.

As for D... to him tonight I dedicate my post. I was sad to see our friendship end. We rarely see each other these days. It hurt me to realise that we'd never be able to friends. We shared so much, seeing him just vanish from my life was a shame. Not my choice, but for some reason his life has changed completely since we broke up. He's changed crowds. He no longer comes out with us anymore. His path has led him further away. I can't blame him for it. We each have to follow our own paths. I did however manage to see him in october. We had a long talk, shared our lives for a few minutes. We talked about what we were up to, what we did over the summer. I finally was able to see him for who he has become today. He is independant, happy; a grown man. He has several times said, but mostly implied, that he also owes this partly to me. It feels good to know that even though you're no longer together, somehow you've made an impact or left a mark. How horrific otherwise, if after six and a half years, all that's left is nothing.
If the woman I am today is partially due to D. and to being with him I know that life's experience are worthwhile, even when they end.

We broke up over two and a half years ago... finally we have come to understand that we will always be a part of each other's identities. It's only inevitable that a person who has meant so much to you for so long will always hold a place in your heart. Don't get me wrong, I care for him as a friend, almost as a brother. This may seem strange, but I say this with the best intentions.
We have accepted this and moved on. He is in my past. Though I don't think of him anymore, if not perhaps once or twice a year, he will never be forgotten. I think back with a smile. I'm glad to be able to say that. Not everyone is so fortunate to look back on their past with a smile.

Now, I wait for the future to unfold before me. I'll marry Michael. He is my future.
I'm waiting patiently. It's hard. Patience sees to be wearing thin these days. Nonetheless, I'm waiting. I welcome it.
When the time is right, when it's in the cards, I'll be here.... with arms wide open.

Holy crap, Batman!

2006-11-21T17:44:00.000+01:00

I cut off all my locks today!!! Dig the new look??

Tech Tags: haircut sunshinecity style

Yay me!

2006-11-20T16:06:00.000+01:00

I don't have to go in to work today!!!!

Tech Tags: sunshinecity life

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

2006-11-20T01:44:00.000+01:00

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Tech Tags: keane lyrics

End of weekend ponderations

2006-11-20T00:55:00.000+01:00

I got home last night after work feeling like I was 104 years old! I really can't take standing up for so many hours in a row anymore.... talk about getting old or what! No laughing... I am really starting to feel the ageing process!! Shit, this is sad!

I was looking forward to going out last night, meeting up with some friends, but I just couldn't deal with getting up off of the couch after dinner!

I've started seeing more and more of Claudia, an old friend from middle school and her friend Giulia. They're always so available and willing to go out... never have any hang-ups or whatnot. They're closer to me than my best friends are, or that's how it seems to be lately.
So today I met up with them again. We went out for lunch with some of their other friends too.
I'm pretty happy, I'm getting to know a whole bunch of new people, and this is really good for me. It's almost therapeutic. I know this can sound dumb, but sometimes you just feel the need to make a change ya know? Even if in the slightest. I was pretty depressed last week and I've noticed how my mood has just been terrible. I needed something to take my mind off things.

Lately I only get to see my usual crowd of friends occasionally, for some weird reason. They are all paired up in couples, most have started living together so often they do things on their own or maybe go out to dinner just 2 couples or so. Plus, everyone works and I don't so I guess they don't go out as often. Claudia and Giulia, on the other hand, are in my same position. They are both unemployed right now, so they have more free time on their hands. But it's not just that. We have the same interests, we all three took the same courses in college and are all lively and sociable and nutty! I miss nutty, darn it!!! It feels good to act all crazy and silly and girly sometimes! Even if you are 30!!! Lately I was starting to feel like I was already retired or something but hadn't lived my life yet! Milena, my best friend is just totally different from the way she was before. We just have different interests now. Sometimes I even wonder how we became best friends! Her boyfriend is just too quiet for me... they never want to do anything besides go to the movies or go for walks. I mean, that's cool.. I love the movies and going to the park or dowtown but not if that's all you ever only do, every single week-end.
Never a bar or a pub... god forbid I should ever mention going to a club!! Somtimes I think she went straight from 27 to 55 all in one go!

As for Francesca, well she's always been a bit quieter, but still fun to hang with. Strangely, though, she's been single since forever! Thing is, she's really pretty too!!
This summer though she lost her father very VERY unexpectedly. She was very close to him and of course this tragic event has devastated her. Not only is she having a hard time herself, but she also feels responsible of taking care of her mother who if course is always alone during the day and is now afraid of being alone in the evenings.
She does also live with an older sister, but she has a boyfriend so I guess has other things to occupy her mind... she's often out for the week end. Also, her personality is very different to Francesca's. She's stronger and I guess faces adversities in a different way.
I feel bad for her because as much as you try and say something, be there for her, show her somehow that you care and are thinking of her, there is just nothing you can really do. This is just something that will have to be dealt with and maybe only time will help ease.
I know you never recover from something like this... I guess eventually, in time, living your days and weeks just becomes a bit easier.
For now, she doesn't want to go out at all, more than she neccessarily has to, for work and choir. Thank god she has choir twice a week to keep her busy. It's something her and Milena have been doing for 2 years now and they are very dedicated.
Of course Milena and I don't push Francesca at all to go out. We try to invite her to places and when she refuses we are ok with it... but how long is it ok for this to go on, before it starts getting worrying? It's barely been 4 months since her father's passing, but I can't help but be concerned for her. She's only 31, she can't waste the best years of her life this way, she'll end up isolated and alone. It's just heartbreaking! It saddens me so much to have to sit and watch helpless.
I only hope that she'll soon find new hope and the will to get on with her life.

I'm back to work tomorrow. (I know I earlier implied I was unemployed, but seeing as this is bullshit work, I don't concider it a job. I concider this crap.)
The job is fun, my boss is not. She's actually quite a bitch. The worst part of it all is that I am way better than this. As much as I am glad I'm earning a few eurobucks, I am highly highly mortified of having yet to swallow my pride and bow down to such petty bullshit. I don't want to come off as an elitist. I'm not like that.. it's just that after having studied 10 years, slaved over my master's, worked all throughout my college to help pay for living expenses, and done almost every job under the sun, hearing some snotty-nosed 50 year old bitch treat you like dirt, when she can't even spit out a gramatically correct sentence, cussing every 10 seconds and treating you like you're dumber & dumber .... well that, that just pisses me off. I am mad at myself for having to yet again take this bullshit just to be able to live.
I am done with being shitted on... when is it my turn to turn my shit into shinola?

Ok... I'm an elitist, now sue me for all my sushi!

Tech Tags: friendship work life

A new day - japanese cat luck needed!

2006-11-15T20:24:00.000+01:00

I have to say I'm feeling a lot better.

I've started using the gym as my stress-relief tool. I talked things over with Michael... cried on his shoulder some and got things off my chest.
I've decided to be a bit more active and though I didn't want to find some crummy old job at first, I sure welcome the extra money, plus it gets me out of the house, which is always good.
Today was my first day. I'm now working at Daruma Sushi, a Sushi takeaway deli. I have to say the place is really cool. I've always had a bit of a soft spot for all those japanese artifacts, tea sets and cute objects. The funny thing is, though, I've never tried sushi in my life! I have to admit, Iì'm not fond of fish at all, infact you could easily say I hate it. People have told me thought that Sushi is quite different and the taste of the raw fish isn't as strong. I have yet to confirm or bust this myth... we shall see!!

I'm doing a part-time for now, as I'm still hoping to find that "real" job I'm seeking in PR/marketing/communications. We shall see...
Meantime I've also applied for an internship at a web design agency, as a graphic design junior. I've always had a passion for graphic design and would love ht eopportunity to lean more, and seeing as they're seeking an intern who can "learn by doing" (as they so clearly stated in their job desription) I figured I might just stand a chance.
Today I went to the interview. We talked a bit, but of course they still have to interview a few other candidates. I'll be honest with you... I'm really hoping of getting this job. I think it would be fun and give me a chance to pick up lots of new tricks of the trade and learn cool new things. We shall see.... I'm trying to be hopeful here and less pessimistic. Only time will tell if I'll be proved wrong once again!

Here comes the low

2006-11-10T14:40:00.001+01:00

Do you ever feel your life goes in cycles? Maybe not in cycles... but in waves of highs and lows??

Well, lately I've just been feeling really wound up tight. I don't know exactly what has gotten in to me, but the lows are definately here!!
I feel like I'm really wound up... I feel as tense and as taught as wire and my patience is really starting to wear thin.
I don't know why I'm in such a foul, pissy mood, but I guess I'm just not happy. If I sit and analyse my life right now I can narrow it down to a few single things, which I guess, if you add them all up can be held accountable for my "wonderful" mood!

I went for that interview last week, that I was really hoping for and even thought the interview itself didn't go badly, I don't think they'll be hiring me for the position, seeing as they're seeking something else than what I can offer.
Also, I haven't been able to see much of my girlfriends. They're so busy between work and other activities, there isn't much free time left in the week to be able to spend together, so I kind of miss them and kind of feel put aside. They haven't returned my emails and haven't taken much interest in me lately. I know I can get childish like that, but I'm feeling a bit left out of Life right now. My life in incredibly the same day in and day out. Not having a job and things to occupy my day is killing me and of course is adding to my frustration.
I'm starting to loose faith in my talents and in my ability to ever do something important with my life because I can't seem to find work. I'm loosing all hope that I'll ever find a decent job.
I'm currently bored out of my mind, but thank God that at least I've signed up to the gym.
At least I'm getting out there and doing some excercise. It feels good to be active, to work up a sweat and to get the heart racing and blood pumping. It really helps relieve some of the built up tension (luckily tonight I'm going to my 3rd lesson... I really need it!!)

I dunno.... I just feel at the end of my fuse ya know? I'm usually such a happy, positive person but lately I just can't seem to find happiness or hope in anything.
I'm supposed to be engaged and looking forward to my wedding, but the future seems so uncertain, what with this DAMN visa crap... it's like I can never get to the end of the rainbow... it's like it's somewhere out there beyond the horizon and the more I walk towards it, the more I can't get to it.
I miss michael, yet all we seem to do lately is miscommunicate. I dunno, it's probably all my fault, seeing as I'm just so impatient and pissed at the world lately, but I feel angry at him too!

I wish I had something to look forward to, but with not having a job and money being tight... I can't even look forward to planning anything.
Mainly I'm just bored! I am just so done with wasting my talents by laying around doing nothing. I know I have so much to give, so much to contribute... I just want one effin chance to prove it!!
I need to find something to occupy my time, and all those little projects I've been doing and my to-do list are almost all done!!!

Anybody need a logo or website made???

Busy Busy Me!

2006-10-27T19:53:00.000+02:00

Who'd ever think you could be so busy, when you don't have anything to do?
See... I've always been one for being resiliant.
I don't really like to sit around and do nothing... so I find things to do. Now... this doesn't mean I go 'round the house, all crazy, opening closet doors or looking in old boxes to see if there's something I can tidy or throw out (like my mom likes to do.... that's just looking for trouble if you ask me. That's called insanity!).
It's more that we all have projects that have been sitting on our to-do list for months... you should see how long my list is!
Well... now is the time for me to do my to-dos!
So, where to start. Well first off I started re-knitting an old scarf I had and never wore. It was just too wide and kind of unpractical, so I unravelled it all and started over. It's coming out pretty nicely! (I still have to finish it... I got sidetracked!)

Then, I've gotten back to jobsearching. So everyday I check my emails, check the online job search engines and various job sites, send out emails, fax out my CV, etc. (Still waiting on a call for an interview!!!). I've also started buying the paper too.

Alos, I've had a crappy office chair for a while now, and it's just very uncomfortable. Well.. to be honest the chair on its own is fine. It's just that it's a bit too low for my desk and when looking up at the monitor, I stretch my neck too far. (OK... I just wanted a new one. Is that so bad???).
So yesterday I went to Ikea with my sister. I'm totally broke and said to myswelf before walking in the door: "You're only here to buy a chair. That's all... in, find, out.... it's pretty simple."
Yeah, simple.... that's what I thought, but we all know I was kidding myself right?
Any of you familiar with Ikea? It's like the grown-ups' toy store. Anything and everything you ever wanted for your home, office, garden, vacation home, is there. All in one large building.
It's heaven for all furniture lovers!
Needless to say I came home with an extra candle, a comforter set and a cool 5 -in-1 pant hanger. Boy that felt good.... and who said shopping wasn't a drug? Sure it is... it's an anti depressant! No, better yet.... it's a stimulant. It excites me waaay more than coffee!! I'm on a high all day, after that! I was good though. I spent very very little.... *insert picture of halo here*

So I got home, and assembled my chair. Oh yeah, didn't you know? That's the best part of Ikea furniture... you get to assemble it yourself! It gives you such a feeling of accomplishment, you have no idea! And considering that I'm wasting my time doing zilch, I might as well put it to good use, right?
So after my DIY chair assembly, I moved on to organise my closet. I have that new 5-in-1 hanger right? This allowed me to get rid of a whole lot of hangers and make some extra space in there. It was a well needed change!
Now... seeing as I was sorting out one side of my closet, I had to tend to the other, don't you think? I mean, you wouldn't want your other side of the wardrobe getting jelous right?
You see, I keep all my shoes in the other side. Boxes and boxes of shoes, (<--- Imelda Marcus fan here folks!) and all my bags. Bags of all sizes. Big ones, small ones, bags for when i go to the beach, work bags, stuff to carry documents in... you name it.
This closet was just a mess. Now this task I had been putting off for months! This was a real high priority on my to-do list. It was time to tackle the job!
I dived in.... and came out a winner! I found a spare box from where I would usually stow away my summer clothes (seeing as I left most of them in Indy) and decided to neatly put all my baags away in there. I also tossed out some old shoes and clothes I no longer wear. Man... do I have a lot of shit! Way too much stuff. I always think to myself "can you imagine if all stuff I'm throwing away right now, just suddenly transformed itself into the cash I spent to buy it??".
I mean, just picture your pile of crap (old clothes, old shoes, old bags, old books... you name it). Thta's a lot of stuff right? Now picture it all vanishing in one big *poof* and in its place, picture now the bills of $,€, £ or even yen spent on it. Yeah I know... makes me cry too.

So now that I had my room almost perfectly tidy (I still have a couple of more taks to tackle, but that'll be for some other time.... can't actually cross off everything on my to-do list, can I?), I can sit down at my desk and start on some "IT" work I need to do. I have to put together my online portoflio, so I can qucikly show people what I've done. I also wanted to write to a friend of mine who's in the British Royal Navy. He's been shipped off somewhere undiscolsed to us civilians and he's bored out of his mind, so I promised I'd write him a letter. With that hand-written letter, I put together a cd compilation for him, so that's some IT going on there!

And now to get to my latest craze to keep me busy... moo cards!!! They are simply awsome!! There's no other way to describe them! Well... OK. I could tell you that they're sort of like business cards, but a lot smaller. They are anything you want them to be. You can add personalised text on the back, and on the front you can have printed your pictures from Flickr, or cute catchphrases, using skype smileys.
If you don't know those two websites, why the hell not??? They are truly amazing and have changed my life so much. I couldn't live without skype. It's my only means of communication with michael, nowadays. As for Flickr. It's a whole world of beauty and imagery and photography all in one place. All right there on your monitor screen... and so much more!

I've ordered my 10 free skype moo cards. You can order some too. They will ship anywhere!! Just use the promo code freebie. Hurry though... the promotion is only available for a few more days. As soon as I get mine, I'm going to send a couple out to people. There's a group in Flickr called Moo Me, for all those people who want to swap Fickr Moo cards.
It's the "Garbage Pail Kids" collector card scenario all over again... only difference now is... I'm 30!!!!

Twitching fingers

2006-10-23T18:13:00.000+02:00

Here we have satellite TV instead of cable. We get lots of programs both from American and English TV. We get all the good series and dramas and al the cool movies. I have to say, I can't complain.
There are of course lots and lots of crummy Italian channels. As you can tell, I don't watch them. They are just plain lame. Italian TV isn't all that amusing. Actually I find it kind of offensive 'cause the programs are just dumb and seem to cater to people who have an I.Q. of no higher that 12.
Seeing as I believe to be somewhat more intelligent than that (even if only slightly), I tend to not watch Italian TV.

Of course, like any good rule of thumb, there is always the exception and this is where the channel Real Time, comes in. I'm assuming it's based on a foreign format, as most cooler programs and channels nowadays are. Italian TV buys the rights to reproduce the format, in Italian, with Italian presenters, etc. The channel itself isn't bad... but the one program on there I actually really like is Paint Your Life. It's a program dedicated to home decorating and small easy-to-create-at-home crafts, a sort of decorative DIY.
I've always been a creative person and always felt I should be a lot more artistic than I actually am. I mean... I always have lots of ideas, but never put them to use. Mind you, this summer while I was in Indy I decided to make a blanket for myself. I didn't knit it, I sewed it. I went out and bought some fabric and sewed it together, kind of how you make a patchwork blanket, except I only used two different kinds of fabrics, one for each side of the blanket.
I got so into it, I even made two more for my friends and another smaller one for my new born baby cousin! His mother (my 1st degree cousin) loved it!!!

So I got back into watching this program. The new 2nd series has just started and so far I've seen a couple of projects I'm rally interested in. I love making things with my own hands, it gives me such a feeling of accomplishment and let's face it, right now I'm not really accomplishing much. I'm back into that "looking for a job" routine I so hate. It's so depressing, not to mention how bored I get sitting at home all the time, doing diddly squat!

I think I'm going to make a couple of things I saw for this year's Christmas presents. I think receiving a hand made gift, made by the person who's actually giving it to you is so much nicer, don't you?

God I miss the store Michael's!

Summer in Indy - a recap

2006-10-18T15:45:00.000+02:00

Get Your Own! View Slideshow

Back into the swing of things

2006-10-16T17:41:00.000+02:00

Remember the movie Sleepless in Seattle? Well....you could say the movie poster sums it up huh? 'Course, Meg Ryan was blonde... but I tell ya.... that poster says it all! Divided under one great big sky.

It feels good to be back though, for different reasosn of course. It was good to see my friends again, after so long. Being back home, in my own room is so comforting. (Even though I have still to put away some things from my trip!!)

I'm ready to tackel this new autumn season and plunge myself back into job hunting. God those two words.... they carry so much meaning and responsability. I'm really going to try hard and do my best to find a job I so much deserve.

I'm done with the stupid odd jobs, part time tasks and undepaid wages. It's time I take my degree off the mantle piece and put it to use, right? I worked damn hard for that piece of paper, don't you think it's about time someone gave me a chance to put it to some use???

Meantime... I pray these last few months go by fast. Hopefully this will be the last leg of my onward life journey towards my future goals. I'm wanted, I'm needed. Michael, the USA, a wedding... all await in the wings.

Countdown

2006-10-05T08:56:00.000+02:00

I lie awake with a million things racing through my mind. I had a friend ask me to post an update knowing this will be my last before I head back home.

Michael lays asleep beside me, curled up in his sleep, in his thoughts, in his dreams. I can't help but think of all the things we've shared in these three months, all the things endured, all the laughter and days spent together.
I think about all the things I have left to do before I leave. All the packing that awaits me... (something I hate to do, when it's packing to go home). All the errands to run, to make sure we get the final papers signed and copies made, before we send out yet another application. (Just to answer the question, in case you're wondering what I'm referring to, we had to re-apply for my visa seeing as the last one we sent out got lost somewhere between Postal Options and the Nebraska Service Center. Cool, right??)

There is no way to describe what these three months have meant to me, what they have been like and what they have tought me. Coming back and being with Michael again, after being part for so long is like learning to ride a bike, all over again. You think you know someone, and in a way you do, but being apart from them for so many months can sometimes make you forget how the pieces of the puzzle fit. It takes time to re-adjust. It takes time to learn all over again how exactly the two of you combine, how you complement each other and in what ways.
You have to learn and understand all over again that the both of you are different and each have your own ways about going about things. It's like moving in together for the first time, and having to go through that trial period, over and over again, every time you are together again.
Don't get me wrong. We now know more than ever that we want to be together, that no matter how hard or how long this will take, it is definately what we want. But sometimes you loose sight of the end result you're trying to achieve, when life throws you those curve balls.

We have got to know one another all over again. We have fallen in love and made love like it was the first time. It's almost like re-discovering one another. It truly is a magical experience that can't be fully comprehended unless you yourself have experienced a long distance relationship.

Time has gone by so fast. It seems like I arrived only yesterday. It's heading towards winter and the tempretature is dropping. Soon I'll be back home again, back to my old routine and it will almost have felt like I was never here. As if the time spent together was almost like a dream... only the vague feeling and memory will remain, and all we will long for is to be together once again, for good.
I don't know if when we meet again, it will be to never part again. I don't know if my next trip to the US will be again just a visit or if it will be my final destination. All I know is that I hate to have to think that my whole will be halved again. This feeling of completeness and love I feel will be torn in half. It's like I've finally reached a level of completeness and love I am happy with. I feel I have a companion to share the rest of my life with and now that I finally have reached the top of the hill, I have to jump right off it, only to be left without direction, or to put it differently, I know my direction but have to face the path alone.
It has taken us three months to truly find a perfect balance and now that we've found it, it's going to be broken.

I can't bare to leave this all behind. I can't possibly even begin to imagine what pain I'll feel come sunday morning, as I turn my back on Michael and head through the security check. Every time it gets harder and harder to separate. Every time we grow closer and closer, and every goodbye hurts more than the one before. I know it's not forever, but the rest is so uncertain. You know that that one day is out there, when you'll be reunited for good but you just don't know when that moment will arrive. I only hope it will be soon, because the more time goes by, the more I know that Michael is my future, he is my one. He is the one who I want beside me, the one I want to share my path with.

It's been a while...

2006-09-18T02:33:00.000+02:00

Yeah I'm still alive, in case you're wondering where I've gotten to. I'm still in the US, still on my vacation... it's really been a fun time! (But hey, no doubting that right? I mean, what's not fun about a 3 month vacation, right??)
Anyways, last week end Michael and I finally managed to go on our roadtrip. Yeah aparently I'm told I took a vacation from my vacation.... hehehe.... what can I say, I saved up for this, I deserve to go, right??

We spent 3 days in Kentucky, the Bourbon state. Too bad 55 of the 155 counties are dry!! Would you believe that? I mean, we go down there expecting to pay less for bourbon, and yet when we get down there, there is none to be found for miles!
The only exception is Louisville. Down there you can even buy liquor on sundays, even though it's prohibited in the rest of the state. I am baffled by constant contradictions. It's something I've noticed a lot during my various stays in the US, but let's not get into that. Though amazingly contradicting at times, I still love it here. So many different things, such diverse habits and culture.
We spent Friday on Louisville, just walked about for a few hours. Saw some cool stuff. The town is really very pretty. The dowtown area is really colourful and alive. Lots of stuff going on, cool bars and really friendly people.

After walking around we headed back to our car and headed for Elisabethtown, where we had planned to spend the night. On the road motels are so cool... I know they are so cheap and common-place to many, but we don't really have those in Italy, so I always find them fun! Hahahah gotta love the "Continental Breakfasts"... (a doughnut if you're up early enough, or otherwise just coffee...)

Elisabethtown doesn't really have much to offer. It's another one of those towns which has only recently started reselling alcohol. Kinda crazy if you ask me. They only serve if with meals, except on sundays of course.... 'cause God would just get mad if you had a taste of it on Sundays!!! But no one bothered to inform us of this, so after our meal (which may I say was really good) we wanted to go to a really cool bar a couple in the area. It was bubbling with people and just seemed to be the happening place. So we get there, only to find out that there's a $5 cover charge (which we're totally cool with) but that's for an all you can eat buffet, then drinks are extra. If only we had known sooner! We just literally walked out of the restaurant, we were stuffed! I didn't even have room for a toothpick! We were really bumbed! We wanted to go have fun and have a drink before hitting the sack for the night, but we had to pass on that. The guy at the door was a good laugh though. He too found it crazy about the liquor laws.

Next day we set out to continue the trip, driving south to Mammoth Caves. They are natural caves, formed by the natural erosion of limestone over a period of 250 million years. The flowing of the river just ate away at the rock, creating over 360 miles of natural cave. It was pretty awsome!

We went on 2 two-hour guided tours, and then camped out there for the night. It was pretty cool. We got to make s'mores and everything!!
Next day was the distillery tours. We were really upset that, being a sunday, that meant not being able to purchase any bourbon, which sucks. I mean, how can you drive all the way to Kentucky to visit the ditillery of your favourite make of bourbon and not buy any right? I mean... we were on a mission, and had to come home empty handed, it sucked! There was not even any tasting or anything!! I mean, for pete's sake, they don't even produce any in the distillery!!! Effin conservatives!!!!
Let me just say that the whole area, the northern part of the state is just beautiful. The properties pout there are amazing. Huge, green vast fields. High maintenance too.... no farm-type fields. These are private properties cared and taken car of. It is the prime breeding region for race horses. These horse ranches are immense and just beautiful!

Unfortunately on our way down there my camera battery died on me, so I was only able to take one picture... enjoy!!

A letter, a statement

2006-08-18T18:57:00.000+02:00

August 10th 2006

Dear Mr. Gibson,
I am one Jew who doesn't accept your apology today. I don't accept it, because you have spit on the graves of the Goldwyns, the Warners, the Mayers, the Cohns, the Foxes, the Thalbergs, the Selznicks, the Zukors and the thousands of other Jews both living and dead who have made your questionable career possible.

When you do get out of "rehab" and recount your millions, please consider how much of your fortune you would have if you had made your true feelings known, when you were starting out in the film industry.

You are a despicable human being, one that doesn't even have the sense to realize that he has repeatedly bitten the hand that fed him. Whatever you (or your publicity agents) say today, does not even begin to redress your long standing theories about the Jewish people. Apparently the apple does not fall far from the tree. If you haven't yet distanced yourself from your father's views of the Holocaust, why should the Jewish community meet with you, or believe anything you have to say now.

Your words are a thinly veiled attempt to admit that you really messed up this time, and you want to cover yourself, so that you can continue to be adored and further your revenue stream.The truth is, you are an unreformed, unrepentant anti semite of the worst kind, and your hollow outreach is worth less than the price of your next drink, which will surely find itself in your hands before long. I'm buying.

Of course, if I am wrong, you could start by donating $1,000,000 today to the State of Israel in her time of need.Surely that is a small public relations price to pay for a man of your stature who "honors all of God's children".

Steven Silberberg
New Rochelle, NY

Aug. 22nd - Edit

The above letter was indeed written by Steven Silberberg New Rochelle, NY and not the famous director Steven Spielberg.

I apologise for the mistake.

I've been bad...

2006-08-18T07:52:00.000+02:00

... real bad, for not having posted in here in aaaaages!!! I even had heather asking me about my update, seeing as I promised her I would!

There hasn't been that much going on really. We went to the State Fair last week, that was really awsome. So much going on, lots of yummy fair food, lots of fun rides and games and cool things to see. It was really fun, I'm glad I had chance to spend all day there! I took lots of pics too, just haven't really had time to add them to my flickr account. I will soon, I promise!!

Tonight we went out for a friend's birthday. It was a good night. The evening was so warm, ut not humid. It was just right, just a light breeze, enough to keep you cool, but not too breezy to make you cold. I took some pics...

On another note, we were supposed to go to Mammoth Cave this week end, in Kentucky, but unfortnately Mike's paperwork for his scheduled vacation kind of got messed up, so he can't take vacation for another couple of weeks. That kind of sucks. I hate when plans get all messed up and wrecked. Another plan that didn't fpollow through was meeting up with C. He wasn't able to come after all, which sucked ASS!!! He had to go to Chicago for work instead. BOOOOOOOO! His boss sucks, we all know it. Hopefully we'll be able to meet up again some time soon. Either that or I'll gonna have to kill him!!! LOL

Oh btw, my friend from Milan is over in California on vacation as we speak, and she met up with some old family friends. She's hooked up with their son, and sort of fell for him and guess what...???? She wants to marry him!!! Imagine that! Hahahah, copycat!

Lazy laundry dayz

2006-08-05T04:22:00.000+02:00

Believe it or not I'm alive and well!

I think my few readers out there are wondering if the bed or Michael ate me up... LOL

Someone dared ask me, the other day, if I was all sexed up yet... if I'd had enough! "HA.." I said, when is sex too much? LOL. Concidering I haven't seen Michael in about 8 months, there is a LOT of catching up to do!

It's not all about the sex actually... he's really busy with work and today I dogsat and did laundry at my almost-mother-in-law's house. (Yep, that's her new name.... she calls herself that, kinda sweet, no?)

All in all it was a lazy laidback day!

Some good news for next week end.... C. is driving up to see us, I can't wait!!! He's so awsome! We're gonna hang out for two days... short but sweet! I've missed him!! Shit, when was the last time I saw him? I don't even remember! It must have been like over a year and a half ago!!!

Oh I'm so excited!!

Busy busy me!

2006-07-27T23:41:00.000+02:00

Anyone miss my posts??? I have been so busy spending time with Michael and having fun, I almost completely forgot about posting! It's no big deal really.... except for the fact that I've had requests for updates on what I'm doing!!!
So by request, i'm here to please the fans.... (alright... just let me dream ok??)

Last night we went to the state fair with Michael and his family. It was lots of fun, and Michael was so sweet.... we did all the games and ate all the classic fair food.... it was like a true old time date! He was sweet and bought me everything!! : )
A couple of days ago we went to the zoo... now this seems funny but to us it's a special place as it's where he took me the first time we ever went out, on my first trip to the US, so it's like a special place for us. We had a good time and their zoo here is just gorgeous!
There are a few pics here you can see, and more on my flickr page.

As for the rest of the time, I am enjoying some pampering with the giftcard I got for my birthday and anniversary gift. Michael spent a whole bunch of $$ on me and I love it!! Yesterday I got my very first pedicure.... man I felt like royalty lol.... it was sooo wonderful!
He really is a sweetheart and I am so blessed! He's just so romantic and ever so gentlemanlike with me. He still opens my car door, still lets me in through the door first when we go places.... he's just great! I almost forgot how lucky I am, being away from him for so long!

It's been a great two weeks so far. Michael's family has been great and lots of fun. We even went tubing together!!

Hope you like the pics!!

See the rest here.

Live from the USA!!

2006-07-16T00:06:00.000+02:00

Well I finally made it!!! And man is it HOT!!!!
OK... heat has never been a problem for me, I do come from a mediterranean country after all, but it's the damn humidity that does it for me. Here I was thinking that rome was humid, but heck... Indy beats that! Thank God for AC, is all I can say!

For those of you who want to know, my trip was long and a pain in the ass, but worth it of course. I was delayed 8 hrs or so in NYC due to bad weather and ended up landing in Indy at 4am... I'd been travelling for over 24 hrs, by that point!

It's been great to be in Michael's arms again. I feel at home. It was good to see his family. His appartment is so cute! I love it!!
Last night I got to go to my very furst Drive-in... how cool!!! It was so classic! It's a shame they're dissapearing.
We've got a few things planned... but Michael's got a busy work schedule. We'll play it by ear and see how it goes. I don't mind, so long as I can be with him, that's all that matters!

shhhhhhhhh!!!!

2006-07-10T12:19:00.000+02:00

Atomic Kitten - Whole Again

2006-07-08T17:00:00.000+02:00

If you see me walking down the street,

Staring at the sky and dragging my two feet,

You just pass me by,

It still makes me cry but you can make me whole again.

And if you see me with another man laughing and joking doing what I can,

I won't put you down, 'cause I want you around,

'cause you can make me whole again.

[Chorus:]

Looking back on when we first met,

I can not escape and I can not forget,

Baby, you are the one

You still turn me on,

You can make me whole again.

Time is laying heavy on my heart

Seems I've got too much of it since we've been apart,

My friends make me smile if only for while,

You can make me whole again.

[Chorus]

For now I'll have to wait,

But, baby, if you change your mind don't be too late,

'cause I just can't go on,

It's already been too long,

But you can make me whole again.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooo

[Chorus x2]

Ooh, baby you're the one,

You still turn me on,

But you can make me whole again.

Grrrrrrrrr!!!!

2006-07-08T01:43:00.000+02:00

Arghhh!!! Frustration!!!!!!!

Now you know....

2006-07-07T14:19:00.000+02:00

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms

When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!

The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someones Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there were one, but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain, her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a firehose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At that point, you give up.
You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women, still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them.
A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. ( Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and whyis your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!!

'Nuff said!!

2006-07-05T15:02:00.000+02:00

Italy makes it to the finals!!

2006-07-04T23:55:00.000+02:00

What a night!!! I don't think I've ever suffered as much, watching a soccer match! It was a touch game I'll tell you that!!
We played a shitty first half, and the Germans were really foul players. The referee seemed to be blind to their foul play but we managed to send them home nonetheless!
I've never seen more foul play than from the germans tonight and they were sooo favoured!! Elbows and kicks flying left and right. Then we had two missed goals in the 1st half of the overtime, wow, what a shame! And the two winning goals, wow, amazing!!! We really brought out the best then! I am still feeling the buzz and anguish of the game... my nerves were a wreck! The game only ended like 20 minutes ago and the people on the streets here are going wild! Cars honking, scooters whizzing, and peopel cheering.
I'm not sure if any of you have lived such a moment. I know soccer isn't big at all in the US, but here, it's the natoinal sport and it's the one thign that brings all Italians together. Whether you're black or white, or yellow or red, whether you're catholic, or buddhist, whether you vote left or right, when fotty's on, nothing else matters!!

Four friends and a great week end.

2006-07-03T16:02:00.000+02:00

Some are still surprised when I tell them that I still am friends with a few people from when I was in middle school. From the ages of 12 to 14, I went to a school here in Rome not too far from where I live now. Oddly enough we were a really close class. To this very day a small group of us from that class meet up and go out, every so often, once every month or so. Out of this group of friends, 5 or 6 of us are of course the closest. Even when I moved to the UK in '90 we still kept in touch and when I came back to Rome in '94 we all met up again.
During college there was a big gap of years when we really didn't see each other at all. I started dating this guy and spent almost 7 years with him, so that kind of kept me out of the picture for a long time.

Anyways, this week end four of us (G, C, S and I) went to the natural hot springs and to the beach.
Our adventure started off early saturday night. G and C came to pick me up and we went to meet our other friend, S. In two separate cars, two in each car, we set off for our first destination, Viterbo.
Viterbo is a small medievel town, about an hr away from Rome. It has a beautiful town centre and is very picturesque. We had dinner there and met up with some friends that S had met on his last holiday. We went to get coffee with them after dinner and spent part of our evening with them.
Afterwards, we set off for our second but main event of the evening, the hot springs! For those of you who have no idea, let me enlighten you. The area is very flourishing with vulcanic rock and sulfuric natural hot springs. You can go there day or night, any season of the year and find these natural pools of hot steamy water. It's like a natural hot tub right there, out in the open.

Something a little like this...
The water is about 30-32° C (roughly 85-88° F).. give or take a few degrees, and is said to have lots of marvellous properties. It's supposed to be very good for the skin, for the sinuses etc. The many minerals in the water are very good for you. But mainly it's a place where people go to chill, hang out and relax. It's populated by lots of people my age, especially at night.

So we get there probably something past 1am and get changed in the cars.... nothing to worry about baby.... it was totally pitch black and I was in a car with S, my gay friend, who's last thing on his mind was to see my bits!!
We're about to take our first dip, when S says "look what I brought..." handing us this bottle of Cointreau. Now this makes the evening even more interesting!!!

So while S is off making new friends in the other boy tub, the three of us left in the bigger pool are starting to feel the Cointreau buzz. We start a game of truth or dare, minus the daring... so all we're left with is questions about our sexual habits and experiences... Imagine the scene if you will: three honest, tipsy people in a steamy pool of water, in the pitch black night.

It was so amazing. Later the clouds started to lift and suddenly there was this bright clear deep black sky, with all the twinkling stars shining down on us and illuminating the sky. I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life! I think there was even the odd person or two who were turned on by our tales of brutal honesty... very sex and the city style!

Afterwards, S comes back from the smaller pool, telling us he hooked up with some guy! I tell you, this guy is worse than honey... he'd get hit on even in solitary confinement!

At about 5 am, we decide it's time to hit the road back on home, to the beach house. Two by two, we each get in our cars and the friend I was in the car with (the gay one) decides to put on music to keep us awake for the ride home. I was having a hard time helping him keep his eyes on the road as my buzz was more of a "I'm fairly drunk" kind of feeling. So I propose he put in our soundtrack... this is sort of like our theme song... is just soooo us! So out comes Material Girl, blaring from the speakers! Me and him trying to sing it on the top of our lungs, not a pretty sight!

We decide to make a stop to grab some coffee and a cornetto (italian-style croissant)... yummy yummy yummy... untill I feel my macchiato starting a fight with the custard in my cornetto and what is left of the cointreau in my body... Ok.. time to put my milk and doughnut down, I say, before I hurl it back up and onto the floor. So that cut my snacking short!

We get back in the car, with Madonna's Immaculate Collection keeping us awake.

We finally got to bed at 6:30 am... the sun was up and the birds were chirping. Shut up, my head is spinning!

12 noon, the next day. Unfortunately G. has to leave and get back to the books. He's got an exam soon to finish his tower control course. So after we say our goodbyes it's time to get ready for the beach. It's a gorgeous hot day and the water is crystal clear! Perfect! We head on down, towel in one hand, shades, and flip flops.

S. tells us that his new "friend" is going to meet us later, after lunch. How sweet.... (how the heck does he do it, I have no idea!)

C. and I enjoy the odd gossip, (She's telling me all about her new possibly-to-be boyfriend), while S. is chatting to some other friends who are also there at the beach.

Finally we get to meet E.... he's only 23!!!! He's cute though, and S is real excited! He fits in real well though.

Anyways, we spent the whole day on the beach. C. and I fell asleep on our sunbeds, while S. and E. went "for a walk". We wake up at 7:15pm and head back home. After we're all showered we pack our stuff and close up the house. We stop off at the peer for dinner and then it's time to go home.

This week end felt like a two week holiday! It was a much needed escape. I couldn't have had a better time! Well I could have, really. Only thing missing was of course Michael, but given the circumstances and knowing he wouldn't be there, everything else was perfect!
These are memories I'll always cherish!

Not that I'm bored or anything...

2006-07-01T15:04:00.000+02:00

But last night I helped a friend personalise her blog. We took a free template off the internet and then I edited it for her, adding her personal links and other bits and pieces.

You know... it's really a wonder why I never took into consideration doing anything like a design course or somtehing. I guess I never really knew how much I was into it. I guess it will always be one of those things I will enjoy doing, but never pursue it further than a hobby.

So, as you can see... I've been at it again! Gees... I sure have free time on my hands huh?

Well, yes and no. More than anything it's just somethign I enjoy doing! Last night I stayed up 'till almost 5am working on my blog layout... I was pretty happy about it too, but then this morning I changed it again! Talk about not sitting still!! Two blog layouts in less that 24 hrs! Hahaha.... I guess you could say I need t take my mind off the fact that I'm leaving for the US soon. Also, Mike's really busy with work right now, so we don't have much time to talk. All good though.... I'm going to be with him in only 11 days!!!!