When I mentioned that this week had been an interesting one, I meant it, and not because of social events... it's not all partying in my life..
I've recently booked a flight to the US for the next year. I'll be visiting some friends in feb for 10 days. I will also be stopping off in Indy, mainly to see friends, but also to try and get a hold of the things I left behind back in 2006.
For those of you who have follwed my diry from the beginning, will know i'm referring to thigns I left at my ex's. Zeeing as I was supposed to be moving and marrying him, I brought out my entire summer wardrobe, to sort of try and get a head start of packing and stuff, seing as it was winter and I was hoping to be married by the following summer... we all know how that nded up.
So anyways, seeing as I am someone who thinks about others' feeligns and the consequences my actions may have on them, I decided to write to Michael to let him know I was coming.
Just to fill you in, in these six months since we've broken up, I have not once heard from him. Or rather I have, but never was it him who came looking for me.
After I finally decided to put it behind me, I have how ever contacted him twice to try and at least stay friends... (Yeah, I know what you all think, something impossible.. so I've been told...).
I always got brief, rather cold responses back from him which always ledf me to think he was just being polite and not really wanted any kind of relationship with me.
Well this past weekend I got wind of him apparently being rather happy I was comin to visit. pparently he wants to sit down and have a talk with me. He supposedly has a lot he wants to talk to me about and misses me a lot.
I can't describe how this makes me feel... I have mixed emotions about this. On one hand, I prayed for this for sl long, and not because I was hoping to get back with him, but simply because, as selfish and mean as it soudns, I wanted him to regret his decision and live with the fact that he'd fucked up the best thing in his life and not be able to do anything about it.
On the other, I am glad to see him and to be able to sit down and talk. I think after all this, I need closure.
I'm not sure what he wants to say to me exactly, but I hoe to be hearing some apologies. I will tell him how I feel and wont' spare him the fact that he really hurt me. I know it'll hurt for both of us, it won't be easy but I think we'll be better off for it.
This should have taken place six months ago...
And so tonight, I post a picture of a photo album that contains pictures of the summer we got engaged. It contains some wonderful, yet painful memories.
I hope after my trip to be finally able to put this book and this relatiobship finally to rest.